Hook, Line and Sinker
by nogreateragony78
Summary: When Ezra Bridger suffers the unexpected fall out of a difficult choice, he and the rest of the Ghost's Crew struggle to adjust to the resulting changes, not entirely successfully. First in the 4th Season ShortStuff AU!
1. Rex, Kanan, Ezra

Hook Line and Sinker

 ** _Be warned… deaged Ezra Bridger to follow. This piece is nothing like some of the more typical 'what if they found him earlier' situations we already love so much in the SWR fandom…Ezra's not age regressed in terms of his mind in this story, just in terms of physical/biochemical status, which is the plot driver/humor creator throughout most of this story for me._**

 ** _This piece will contain: angst, humor, lots of bad jokes about fishing., as well as tiny Padawans, bewildered Jedi Masters and Ex Clone Troopers who deserve a lifetime's worth of free drinks for putting up with innumerable moments of emotionally constipated bullshit. (Please take the threat of semi horrified Rex/Kanan bonding very very seriously.)_**

 ** _Chapter One: Rex_**

 ** _(In which there are arguements, explanations and invitations to go fishing)_**

"Tion te haran!?" The swear's instinctive - automatic. Rex's well aware even before the Mand'oa words leave his mouth that his expression and tone are bemused - even if the situation isn't actually all that funny. The reaction is largely involuntary - old age's long ingrained habit of using humor as a means to cope with stress.

'What the hell' indeed. He'd heard Ezra had had some kind of incident, butwhen he'd met Kanan this morning in the mess hall and followed him back to the Ghost on the promise of more information he hadn't forseen anything quite like this.

In front of him, the significantly shorter than normal Jedi Padawan doesn't even bother to turn around at the sound of his voice, just tenses a little, hunching his narrower than normal shoulders, before speaking quietly. "Hey Rex." Ezra's voice is an octave higher than it was before at least. Then he's done with introductions - pulling out one of the galley's lower storage drawers to use as a makeshift step stool as he clamors up and onto the counter top so he can reach the storage cabinets and presumably whatever he needs to eat.

"What…?" the questions mostly rhetorical. "What in karking hell happened?"

"Weird force-related banthashit…"

"The Ash'taan'aleki." Sabine and Kanan answer his question pretty much simultaneously.

"The what again?" Rex itches at his beard thoughtfully.

"The previously unknown residents of Davosh System's moon twenty-three." Ezra's voice is almost bored sounding - a little annoyed, and a little embarrassed. "A highly reclusive force sensitive species who enjoy kriffing with their unexpected visitors apparently. They're the reason that I look like…well, me, right now." The kid is dressed, from what Rex can tell, in plain gray child sized sweats and an orange button pullover shirt with a stylized velociraptor on its back panel, and he's got nothing but white socks on his feet. "Can we not talk about it any more right now though? Because it's really just a long, stupid pointless story."

Zeb huffs from his spot at the table at that, while Sabine grunts in apparent agreement. Kanan meanwhile, shifts on the ground where he stands, sighing at the comment very softly.

"Fair enough." Rex allows with a small nod.

Ezra nods in return and goes back to finding something to eat.

Rex watches as the boy – because he can scarcely be called anything more honest - digs out a plastic bowl, a spoon and a box of grain cereal from the bottom shelf of one of the cabinets. He seems to be less successful at reaching his preferred plastic glass which is stored up on one of the top shelves. Stretching upwards on his tip toes to try and reach it makes his whole body wobble precariously.

"Ezra, get down please."

"Karabast kid! Ask for help already…"

"Damn it, Bridger, Hera's said not to climb up there repeatedly…" All three adult members of Ghost's crew speak simultaneously, in what is clearly not the first incarnation of this particular conversation - though only Kanan does more than speak, stepping forward to physically lift his Padawan off his feet, which earns a disgruntled little grunt.

"Guys… I'm thinking I can manage to get my own breakfast without catastrophe." He peers down at the floor. "It's what - three feet down? I've fallen down nearly twenty with nothing worse than a mild concussion when I was not much bigger than this. Seriously. Chill out."

"Kid amazing as this sounds, you're not actually helping your argument here." Kanan floats Ezra's selected dishware and food over to the galley table, then shifts his Padawan from his right hip to his left, opening the door to the cooling unit as he does so with his other hand so that Ezra can retrieve various items from units top shelf without having to request it. Rex notes that, perhaps because of Kanan's empathetic gesture, the boy makes no attempt to wiggle free of his Master's grip or even ask to be set down, simply accepting the assistance in what Rex would as easily call contentment as compliance.

Kanan carries Ezra all the way over to the table before setting him gently down on his feet, returning to the counter, afterwards, headed to where he knows that Hera stocks his favorite tea. "Hera's ship, Hera's rules, Ezra," He calls out over his shoulder. "Stop writing checks that you're not physically capable of cashing anymore. Your coordination right now is just as altered as your reach and balance, as we've already discussed…"

"Not to mention you're getting banthashit from your boots on the countertops every time you climb up like you have been, which is rude." Sabine addition earns her no response at all from Ezra but a distinct frown of displeasure from Kanan. Meanwhile Rex is looking Ezra, trying very hard without much success at all to not just stand there gape jawed and stare.

Bright blue eyes glare out at the world from what can only be described as a pixie-esque face and an incredibly small, compact body. Yes, Ezra Bridger's always seemed a little small, Rex is conscious of that, but at this stage he seems closer to outright petite. Ezra meets his eyes, for a moment, and his lips quirk just a little in sardonic acknowledgment of the unspoken thought.

"For the record, I only look like a kid right now, Rex." He informs the trooper, "My head's the same as it's always been. I still have all my knowledge and memories. Not that anyone around here seems to remember that for more than a second or three. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going back to my room to eat."

He spins away then, without further comment, opening up the box and filling up his bowl…leaving small bits of cereal and drips of blue milk sloshed across the tabletop as he maneuvers the oversized packages and cartons as best he can, before roughly shoving a spoon he takes from the table top into one of his back pockets, lifting his bowl from the table and turning to beat a hasty retreat.

"Karabast, Kit, you're not going to at least wipe the table? We're already stuck with the rest of your chores, as it is. Seriously, these days, kids are just so karking messy." Zeb's comment is clearly meant to be humerous - a way of diffusing not building the tension, but Ezra still replies back with a string of Mand'oa so natural sounding and foul that makes Rex's eyebrows raise as the boy heads out through the galley's main doors into the main corridor.

"Language Bridger!" Sabine calls down the hallway after him.

"Oh for Force's Sake… back off of him already, Sabine." Kanan, who Rex might've normally expected would be the one to employ that line on his Padawan on any other day, snaps out the words as he leans his head back against the galley's cooler and exhales on a deep sigh, "This is…all of this is hard enough on all of us right now without you deliberately antagonizing him." His head pivots in Rex's direction, sightlessly. " I'm sorry about that, Rex. I honestly thought at this point that he'd welcome seeing another friendly face to talk to not that he'd…" He gestures to the door helplessly without further comment.

"What? Somehow stop acting like a karking brat having a tantrum…?" Sabine mutters, "Newsflash - he's been doing that more and more over the past week and a half, Kanan. And frankly stated, I'm starting to think the kid is actually *gunning* for a spanking."

Zeb lets out a sympathetic if irritated huff. "Don't you think that you're, I don't know, being a little bit hard on the Kit under the circumstances?"

Sabine snorts and scraps more eggs onto her fork. "I think that you're both letting him get away with murder. I think that things are only going to really settle back to normal around here if something's done to stabilize him and reign him back in. If I'd pulled this kind of Banthashit back at home at the same age, my mother would have tanned my hide hard enough I wouldn't have been able to sit for a week…" She cuts her own sentence off, with a quick look toward Rex who doesn't even acknowledge her sudden embaressment. He's too busy continuing to study Kanan's body language. Then her gaze drops back to her plate as she continues to eat.

Zeb just raises a brow, ticking off his points on his fingers as he replies to Sabine's comment. "One - what the kriff do any of us know about karking normal, Sabine? This isn't Mandalore, and even if it were, this isn't a little kid's typical kind of temper tantrum. The heart of the problem with the Kit right now isn't stubbornness, it's frustration and fear. Ezra's been involuntarily de-aged almost ten years, then told that he's going to have to live with the switch up indefinitely. It's no surprise that he's freaked. You claiming you wouldn't be in his situation?" Zeb sticks up another finger to join the first, "Two…Kanan didn't you mention something earlier about his whole physical vs his mental age thing and how it's probably behind a lot of this?'"

Kanan nods then straightens up a little bit, "Ezra's memories and knowledge skill sets are all still identical to where they were before he…to what they were when his heart stopped. He hasn't lost any cognitive knowledge or skills that he had from that time, but he's still subject to his current body's regular physical and biochemical limitations."

"Great. So he's a teenage boy with even more fucked up hormones than usual is what you telling us." Sabine takes two vicious bites from her buttered toast "I still hold my ground, Kanan: the kid is practically begging for some kind of discipline. He at least needs to be grounded to his room for all the backtalk, or it's just going to keep getting worse and worse."

Zeb snorts at that, unimpressed with Sabine's opinion "Where have you been, Wren? He hardly leaves his room or the vent systems already. Which is more than half of the problem, in my opinion…"

Sabine mutters more than a little rebelliously, "Hera would never have tolerated this Banthashit this long if she were the one here."

Kanan's head snaps toward her voice, "Yes, well Hera isn't available right now, is she? She's been a little 'busy' with her meetings ever since we got back. In the meantime forgive the rest of us for attempting something as horrible as some kriffing empathy…" And woah. There's a great deal more frustration than Rex thinks Kanan meant to reveal in that particular statement. Given Zeb and Sabine's slightly shell-shocked expressions, he's not the only one hearing it either. The Jedi Knight makes a twisted up face, then visibly forces himself to relax, and begins once again.

"Look Sabine." Kanan's voice is soft, as understanding as Rex imagines he can make it at the moment given his own emotions. "I get that you're frustrated. I know that Ezra's pushing all of our buttons right now. I know that Hera's been gone more than usual, thanks to the need to train the newest additions to the fleet. I *also* know that you think that instead of my being the apparent brick wall of authority you assume Ezra needs right now you've decided I'm some kind of pushover but let's at least look at it honestly…even if I were to go out there and spank him like you claim I should it's wouldn't make anything better, not for Ezra and not for you, because most of this attitude of yours isn't even about Ezra's current actions. It's because of what happened on Davosh 23."

The teenage girl flinches as if she'd been struck by the comment. Kanan sighs, and takes several steps over to the table, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder with his free hand lightly. "For the record: none of this was your fault, Sabine, and all of us know that. Ezra especially. He chose to save your life… just like you thought that you were trying to save that child's before it happened. Ezra just…expected a more final set of consequences when he did it than the ones he ended up stuck with."

Sabine's face goes from frustrated and scowling to carefully, painfully neutral… "I know that." She grits out tightly.

"Do you?" Kanan drops his hand. "Then take a step back and just - just give it a rest, Sabine. Detach if you need to do so. Go work on a couple of your paintings. Just, for Force's sake please give him a couple more days of peace to sort out his head and his hormones, I'm begging you. If it makes you feel any better, I promise you that I'll pin him down after breakfast this morning and talk to him about his…" He waves his hands, "Attitude. But you have to stop and remember that the reason we're in this mess at all? Is because he was doing what he thought was the right thing all right? He's like he is right now because he cared…and it isn't fair for you to keep punishing him for it."

"No." Sabine slams a hand down on the table, "He's like he is now because he's a reckless idiot with a death wish. Don't you dare romanticize what happened into something nobler than it is." Rex doesn't miss the fact, that, though the Mandalorian's hands are clenched into fists when she continues, they are also shaking with the strength of her own emotion. "I'm done." She mutters, drops her fork to her plate, and rises, stomping toward the door, "I'll be in the lower bay - doing an inventory like Hera asked me, if you guys need me."

The Lasat watches her exit the room with a grim but unsurprised expression, "Well that went well. You want me to go and…?"

Kanan nods, "Yeah …if you really don't mind and feel up to pitch hitting at the moment. Right now, I just need to *stop* and regroup."

"Not a problem. You want me to start with The Firecracker or should I go talk to Shortstuff?"

The Jedi raises a hand to rub his forehead, "Why don't you talk to Sabine. I'll deal with tracking down Ezra. We'll see about talking or sparring some sense into his thick skull *after* I force feed him a proper breakfast. He doesn't even like that cereal he took with him…especially after eating almost nothing but it the past few days. He just hates being forced to ask for help with everything at the moment."

"Understood. I'll keep that in mind during meal times. It's easy enough to just offer to make an extra serving. Now - it there anything else I need to know before I head out?"

Kanan considers, "Yeah. Please let Hera know when you see her that Ezra and I are headed off base for a couple days - Force, possibly for a couple of weeks if that's what it's going to take. We'll go scout or pick up a couple of milk runs or something. At this point, I'll take anything to get us out of the fishbowl of this complex. Stir crazy and shut in are both more than half of Ezra's problem: you're right about that. But the bigger issue is that he can't stand all the constant staring when we leave the ship. Right now every look, every joke, everything within sight is just a constant slap in his face from his perspective. He keeps getting slammed emotionally over how everything is…"

"…Different." Zeb completes for him, voice full of understanding. Rex watches the Jedi Knight nods his head tiredly, his face tight with widespread exhaustion. "And it also ain't helping," Zeb continues, "that the kit isn't regularly eating or sleeping cause he's so karking freaked out."

Kanan nods, spreading his hands and shrugging, helplessly, "I'm hoping that…I don't know. Maybe if I can get him alone for awhile, away from all the sarcasm and the constant eagle eye of so many people gawking at him, we can actually start to deal with some of the shock and grief he's working so hard at repressing, and once that's managed we can also start getting him comfortable with moving around more in this body. I think he'll calm down a lot once we resume normal sparring."

"Sounds like a plan to me. I'll fill Hera in whenever I see her next. Is there anything else I need to keep an eye on in the meantime while you two are away? Well other than Little Miss 'Just ignore me I'll be brewing a bomb over here?'"

The sarcastic nickname, this time, actually makes Kanan laugh. "No. If what she told me last night is accurate, then Hera will be finishing up her meetings in Central Command sometime after lunch. And hopefully just getting Ezra off the ship for awhile, should diffuse a lot of the lingering general tension. "

"Kanan …are you really sure that you wanna take the kid off somewhere all by yourself? Sabine's right about the way he's skidding off the rails, when it comes to you know…listening."

Zeb's blunt question draws the Jedi up short - whether in surprise or consternation. Zeb lets out a low grunt of sympathy. "I'm not saying it's entirely Ezra's fault - truth is I don't blame him for getting sucked right now into the emotional quagmire. Even unstressed kids that size are practically nothing but emotions. It's just…well the Kid's bolting like a pissy lothcat every time he hits his limit break right now, Kanan, and if that happens to him when you two are out there alone, well things could turn ugly fast, if you get me."

The rest of the sentence goes mercifully unspoken. If that happens, Kanan'll be in a completely unfamiliar territory with a smaller, pissier Ezra who will be far, far easier to lose - especially on a planet like Yavin. "I…I don't know anymore." The Jedi Knight admits eventually. Kanan slumps into a seat at the table, reaches up to take off his eye shield and massage the bridge of his nose. He's clearly reviewing his various options, and not much liking any of them.

He looks so weary in that moment -so overwhelmed by the sheer weight of both his love and his sense of personal duty - that he reminds Rex painfully of Obi Wan in the later days of the Clone Wars for a moment. Stubborn Jedi. Always carrying the weight of the entire damn world on their shoulders as if they're the only ones who know how to tote it.

His next words are impulse. "The two of you could always come along with me on my next mission."

Jedi and Lasat as one turn their heads toward him at that announcement, their expressions vaguely stunned. Rex is somewhat amused to realize from their expressions that in the depth of their own conversation, the two males had apparently forgotten he was there.

Zeb tilts his head after a moment, "Your mission?" His expression has gone from stunned to merely curious.

"Yes. Before I left on my last assignment, Ezra, me and some of my other Vod'ae down in the Chow Hall were talking about a large spot that I noted a couple hundred klicks north of here on the planet aerial surveys. Photos indicate it's in one of the larger continental transition zones and I thought that might be a good place for possible munitions or firearms training. Plus there are a couple of large lakes and rivers in the area as well that look promising. I was going to investigate." Yavin's 4's rich biomes have in many ways been a literal boon to the Rebellion's bland, inexpensive nutritional options. Fresh protein sources, like fresh produce, are treasures not to be overlooked. Rex will frankly be thrilled if he manages a few profitable days of fishing.

"So anyway - we would definitely be roughing it, at least accommodations wise, but if you and the Kid want to get out from under the radar for awhile then why don't you and the little Nadala Kovid come along with me up north for company? You won't be completely 'without gawkers' that way maybe, but I can slip back into the woodwork easy enough if there's need. And kriff if you want the two of you could probably even spend some of the time just helping with the fishing. I got the distinct impression earlier that Ezra's fond of that. "

Zeb snorts. "Sure fishing's fun. As long as you're not the bait for the 'fish' in question, maybe." He looks at the Jedi, "It's actually a great idea Kanan - the kid *loves* fishing and it'll get you both out into the open air an sunshine. Just call it a little belated Father-Son type of bonding."

That statement prompts a sharp look in the Lasat's direction from Kanan, whose forehead wrinkles in the sort of way that makes Rex wonder if he hasn't stumbled into another, no less important conversation between them. "You…you're sure that you don't have any other pressing commitments?" Rex wonders if the younger man even realizes how conflicted he's looking at the moment. He wants to go, that's clear he just doubts their genuine welcome for some reason.

"There's nothing that can't wait. (Or can't be rescheduled in sometime next week. Never underestimate the value of maintaining good Jedi Maintenance. It's one of the first rules Rex learned to embrace in the field, and all that usually entails is coming back to him now surprisingly easily.) We can even take my ship when we go if you like …though I'll warn you now it's nothing fancy - but it'll hold all the equipment we need for the next couple of days with spare room besides for storage and talking. It's also got two rooms with bunks if you don't want to sleep outside overnight and get eaten alive."

"We've all had a lot worse," Zeb observes with a small snort, and the look on Kanan's face confirms he clearly agrees.

" All right then, that's one item on my checklist checked off. Are you going to bring the droid along with you as well, do you think?"

"Chopper?" Kanan frowns, seemingly surprised by the question, "I hadn't planned to, no…Do…do you think that we'd need him along to for some reason?"

"Need, no. Though I'd be happy to have him. My charger is just broken - he'd need to bring along a portable one." Rex snorts softly, "I've always gotten the impression that Chopper and Ezra have a certain kind of Sympatico, if you catch my drift… You know how it is with a droid and his boy."

That earns him another of Kanan's genuine chuckles.

Rex grins back, because Chopper may be a literal murder-bot even on his best days, but the droid is also clearly fond of the Ghost crew - Hera and Ezra Bridger especially, and Rex remembers far too much about R2-D2 and Anakin Skywalker's unique, long-lasting friendship to disregard the value such a 4th member might represent in the right space or situation. "Of course," Rex spreads his hands wide, "All of this is assuming that you actually *want* to take the boy and come out on mission with me…"

"I think I actually do." Kanan's voice is more than a little horrified, much to Rex's amusement. Though to be fair he doesn't honestly know, if the Jedi Knight's apparent mild horror is at the thought of being forced into prolonged periods of time with him as the only other available adult company, or if Kanan Jarrus truly doesn't like fishing.

"Ni kar'taylir darasuum gar. Don't worry about it so much, Commander, " Rex can't resist teasing him just a little, lips quirking as he goes on. "If it makes you feel any better, I promise that this time around the prey that we're after will at least be smaller than the crew is. Give me a few hours to resupply, and then comm me for a point of departure location. Now if you excuse me, I'll be getting on my way."

Zeb's snort of laughter rings through the ship as Rex rises from his chair before Kanan can come up with a retort of his own, heading out toward the bases' center and the necessary pre-mission rounds of supply gathering. It has been, he decides, smiling and shaking his head as he goes, too long since he's looked quite this forward to a chance to stop and go fishing.

 ** _Chapter 2: Kanan_**

 ** _(In which wisdom comes to those who eat their karking breakfast)_**

When Kanan leaves the kitchen to track down Ezra approximately fifteen minutes later, it's with a tray of hot waffles, fresh fruit and two bowls of scrambled eggs all in one of his hands. It takes him no effort at all to find the boy - sitting, kicking his legs back and forth restlessly in the quiet as he dangles them off the edge of his upper bunk.

He finds his Padawan doing exactly what he'd expected him to do – namely ignoring his breakfast. Ezra is listlessly pushing his now soggy cereal around in a bowl of lukewarm blue milk with his spoon despite the continued insistent rumbling of his stomach.

Honestly, later today Kanan's just dumping the rest of that box of cereal in the trash where it belongs.

"Ezra - bring over ones of the tray tables, would you please? My hunger sense likely outperformed my stomach and there's likely more than enough for two here if you want to come share a portion." A small body drops out of the upper bunk almost immediately in response to the comment, Ezra bringing over the requested item with a decided eagerness in his step.

Kanan smiles in response both to the rumbling of Ezra's stomach and to the easy almost thoughtless obedience. He divides up the portions without another word, and they both begin to eat in silence, Ezra practically inhaling each bite as it reaches his mouth

"…I owe Zeb an apology, don't I?" Ezra mutters after a couple of minutes, once his fruit is gone and he's demolished most of his waffles. Well, at least the kid's self-aware enough now that he's eating that Kanan doesn't have to work him around to that particular conclusion. Now if he can just figure out how to help Ezra stabilize enough emotionally that those kind of sudden outbursts aren't happening what feels like every fifteen minutes.

"Yes, Kid - you do. And you also owe him some help with his chores later on - I'm sure that there are at least a couple that he can think of you can help him finish up even in the state that you're currently in, and if there's not than I'll have a talk Hera later about coming up with some ideas that seem suitable . In the meantime - eat the rest of your food. You've got to be better about fueling up regularly Ezra. Your mind and body are both under a lot of stress at the moment and in case you missed the memo actual protein is your friend."

Ezra complies with his order willingly enough, dropping down on the floor in front of where Kanan sits on the Edge of Zeb's bunk while they both finish their breakfast. "Thanks for this, by the way, it's really good." He comments with a mouth more than half full of eggs.

Kanan responds initially by reaching out silently to tousle the hair on his Padawan's head.

"It's not a problem, Kid." He adds after he's finished chewing his own mouthful of food, "I'm just glad to see that you're finally doing better nausea-wise." Whether it had been hormones or nerves, at first, the changed to his Padawan's body had wrecked terrible havoc initially on his Ezra's digestive system. Which had left the boy miserable because frankly Ezra's world had been challenging enough already all on its own without fate also inviting hypoglycemia along to the party.

Ezra sighs at the comment, setting his fork down with a clatter. "Foods just… frustrating for me right now, Kanan. Nothing tastes like I remember it should anymore, and on top of that it's like I can't even enter the kitchen these days without somebody showing up to stalk me. I still*know* how to the cook for myself, I really do and the constant hovering is just…"

'Humiliating.' Ezra may not say that last bit, but it doesn't mean Kanan can't fill in the blanks. He reaches out again to squeeze the boy's shoulder sympathetically. Wishing he had better ideas on how to give Ezra back his old sense of dignity.

"I know you can cook Ezra - you helped me with prep just the other evening, but you can't light the stove alone right now without having to practically climb atop it, and you can't reach the cooktop at at without having to balance precariously and none of us benefit if you end up burned at the moment. Now, I've already talked to Hera about how we need to outfit a few more rooms on the ship with stools or benches so you can access things more easily, and once that happens, things will change for the better I promise you, but in the meantime…."

Ezra nods, huffing at this information quietly, "I know. In the meantime I'm kriff'd basically.'

 _No not_ kriff'd, Kanan thinks, just unavoidably dependant. Which to Ezra, Kanan acknowledges, probably equates to much the same feeling. Sabine may not understand it right now, but Kanan does, in a way that makes his chest ache. Ezra's living his life right now in a constant low grade mixtures of both frustration and its corresponding sibling humiliation.

No spanking in the world could hurt his Padawan right now than near constant self-perception that's he's somehow been made helpless by this, been reduced into something weaker and *less.*

"Ezra…." He draws in a deep breath, trying to find the right words to address the problem, but his Padawan cuts him off, whether deliberately to avoid the topic further or because he hadn't noticed Kanan's opening. "So, I didn't see Hera last night - she must have gotten back pretty late from Central Command again. Is she stuck for most of today as well in meetings?"

Ezra's voice is distinctly wistful as he asks - like he's missing the company of the Ghost's Twi'lek pilot. Kanan more than sympathizes with the feeling, but there's also a strange layer of guilt in the question when Ezra asks, as if he blames himself for how much Hera's been away lately…

Which is fruitless, since Ezra has no control whatsoever over Hera's current schedule.

"She'll be gone for the morning, yes - but she's supposed to be back by mid-afternoon, or at least that's what she indicated. In the meantime, Kid, you and I have just been recruited into helping Rex over the next couple of days with completing his latest field mission. Pack up your gear, Ezra, because later on this afternoon once he finishes supplying his ship for a trip north of here, all three are going to be blowing this caf stand."

Ezra startles, "Really?!" His Padawan's voice is surprised at the news - not to mention more than a little elated. Probably because the poor kid's been going slowly out of his mind ever since they brought him back to Yavin, his only real distractions having been books and whatever cleaning and maintenance he can perform in the Ghost's vent systems.

His Padawan can, Kanan knows, face and conquer many, many kinds of challenges, but what Ezra seems to have no ability to conquer whatsoever is slow death of prolonged idleness, and the boy's been faced with practically nothing but that since…well ever since the 'incident' on planet.

Kanan for all he tries, can't bring himself to consciously refer to what occurred on that planet as Ezra's death. Oh, he rationally knows that's exactly what had happened, yes: at least for a couple of heart shattering minutes. Force, he had literally felt the link snap between them when Ezra passed, had nearly vomited and struggled for several long minutes after just to stay upright and regulate his shallow breaths. Then just as suddenly what had been ripped from its psychic mores had been back, leaving Kanan reeling with shock and almost breathless elation.

Kanan's not even ashamed to admit that at that point he cried like a baby for a good fifteen minutes or so, while the others hovered close, convinced he'd had some kind of psychological break as a result of the loss, until he'd finally managed to calm himself down enough to explain what had actually just happened from his perspective, and then there'd been nothing any of them could do but wait for their hosts to finish the healing they'd apparently begun.

It had taken several hours after that before Ezra had been physically returned to them as well: his tiny, warm, body deposited in Kanan's trembling arms wrapped in a thick, scratchy blanket by as the creature bearing him back into their presence had apologized profusely for his Padawan's lack of appropriately sized clothing. As if that had matter to any of them even a wit at that moment.

Kanan hadn't been able to bring himself to put Ezra down for hours after that, afraid of letting his out of his arms reach after so momentous an experience, and even now days later, there are times he seriously wants to cling to him at odd moments - to pick him up and hug him fiercely. To wrap him up and stuff him in a closet somewhere where the kid can't ever be hurt in the same way again. There are moments when, despite his best attempts to move on from what happened, he wants to shudder at his Padawan's sheer smallness of size and newfound fragility.

Only Ezra hasn't actually changed that much at all, just shifted in some aspects minutely.

'Which is probably half of the problem,' Kanan acknowledges wryly after a moment, since he's not the only one stuck with dealing with the embarrassing tendency toward clinginess - or at least that's what Kanan suspects - given by the way right now Ezra's both hungry for any kind of physical contact and oddly shy about admit it, not to mention the way he's reflecting back the emotional reactions of almost everyone around him.

Yes, that kind of psychic mirroring's something Ezra has always done to a degree off of the people around him– though Kanan doubts he realizes it's happening consciously. It's never been a problem before precisely – just something Kanan tries to remain constantly aware of, especially when exhaustion or higher than normal levels of emotion are also affecting his padawan's shielding.

Ezra has been…markedly leakier in both directions, empathetically speaking, since they returned home from planet. His personal mental defenses seem to be thinner right now than Kanan has seen them, well, *ever,* outside a few times Ezr'a been either injured and unconscious. Kanan frowns. He'd thought that was just the natural effect of the shock of the situation and a few rounds of meditation would be enough to help him re-establish his balance. Now though…may it's time to actually step up and intercede more actively. After they're done with their food Kanan really needs to get the kid to sit down with him in a mutual meditation session long enough for Kanan to examine and if necessary, help him prop back up his increasingly battered personal shielding.

He also needs to check the kid for signs of psychic bruising, frankly speaking.

'Why in kriff didn't I think to check that earlier?" Meaning before Ezra had progressed to outright swearing at Zeb this morning in the kitchen, because yes Sabine had been grinding on Ezra's nerves, but usually, the boy uses sarcasm to deflect - not flight or that kind of vociferous swearing he'd thrown Zeb's way earlier this morning.

If Kanan's Padawan is good at anything at all in his life, then it's his ability to deflect the truth about what he's actually feeling from others - especially when he's feeling vulnerable or hurting. The fact he's failing at it so hard right now certainly merits that Kanan start asking some probing questions.

He'd thought at the beginning of this that most of what Ezra was suffering from emotionally was the natural outcome of shock. Now, though, he has to wonder if the root of the problem isn't actually something more basic - something rooted in the biochemical. He'd just assumed after his restoration by the Ash'tan'aleki that Ezra had retained all the resources he needed to maintain his typical mental defenses, but now he's beginning to have serious doubts - at least in terms of his Padawan's capacity for fully unguided self-shielding.

Which would explain why, Kanan realizes after a moment more, though Kanan can literally feel how hard his Padawan trying to remain calm and centered and and in control the last few days, Ezra is currently barely clinging to his composure like a height phobic climber clings to a crumbling cliff ledge. The kid wants to act more maturely than he's managing - Kanan has actually heard him castigate himself over the subject of his own emotional volatility, but Ezra literally *can't* seem to find and maintain any real sense of balance. Instead, he's getting tossed around like a piece of battered drift wood in a hurricane. Which is humiliating to Ezra as well as frankly exhausting.

"Ezra…" He asks, his voice as calm and non-judgemental as he can possibly make it as he restarts the conversation, "I'm not trying to judge here, but I need you to honestly answer a couple of questions for me if you can, to see if I can help you a bit with the way that you're coping. Since you woke up on Davrosh 23- have you noted any differences in how 'sharp' how the world feels around you…especially when you're under stress or opener than normal for your daily meditations?"

The dark haired boy blinks at the question, pausing his fork between his mouth and the plate. "Well, everything seems… louder generally, I guess? And it's hard for me to be still now for more than a couple of minutes at a time, both mentally and physically." He shrugs noncommittally, "But I guess that I just figured that's essentially the norm for being between six and ten physically. I never liked slowing down when I was still a kid. Kriff I *still* don't like keeping still, I've just learned to better ignore the unavoidable twitchiness."

Kanan makes a mental note to himself how very deliberately non-specific that stated range of age is. He has a feeling that the subject is going to merit further discussion later…since up until now, Ezra has insisted he's eight and ten years old, at least according to his memories regarding his body. "Have you had any more headaches, nightmares, visions etc than usual – since we got back to Yavin System?"

Ezra snorts. "Well, I guess I've had a couple more migraines than usual, maybe? But I'm not complaining. Frankly, I'm just relieved not to be dealing with some of the other physical stuff that seemed to dog me constantly the last time I was this size."

"….Excuse me?" Kanan nearly drops the last bite of his waffle right along with his fork.

Ezra shrugs apparently unaware of Kanan's building consternation, "It'd be a pain in the ass to have to deal with stuff like hives or frequent nose bleeds while I'm up in the vents. Granted the food available here on Yavin's totally different than what was available back home after my parents were taken…I'm not stuck with what I can find in the trash like I was the first time around. Plus I know how to skin test now for allergens now - which I didn't before.

Kanan holds up his hand to cut him off. "Did you just say you had hives your last time around?"

"Yeah…but not like, well, *often* or anything. Once I figured out how to identify the bad stuff allergy wise and stay the kriff away from it I was just fine. It just took me longer than it should have to figure out why Mom and dad never let me try some samples at the markets."

"Define 'bad stuff'" Kanan growls back using his fingers to frame the word with no small amount of sarcasm. Because frankly he's a little irritated. Ezra's been aboard the Ghost three years, and *now* is when they're finally getting around to this particular enlightening conversation? Sabine and Hera also have allergies, and preferably he likes the Ghost's crew still breathing.

"This really specific Lotholian grain I've never seen grown or sold anywhere else but on planet? Otherwise it's just a couple of planet fruits: two common and one really not"

"And you've never thought to, I don't know, *mention* these allergies to Hera or I so we didn't accidentally bring any of said food home with us when we're resupplying?!"

The child in front of him shrugs, "…I see em now, I don't eat em? It's not like you guys do a lot of complicated baking. I guess I just didn't see any reason you needed to know when I had it covered?" Ezra's voice is getting slightly defensive.

"Did you ever have an anaphylactic reaction bad enough from said allergies that your parents needed to start carrying around an epi-pen?"

Ezra just blinks at him. "Huh? An epi-whatsit?"

Kananraises a hand to rub the suddenly throbbing vein on the left side of his head. "You know what Ezra, never mind. I'm just going to assume you may need one. So, well we're on the topic of possible medical crisises there anything else interesting that I should know on the subject of your health before it gives me an unprovoked heart attack eventually?"

"Uhm…I had a few months of pretty intense ear and nose bleeds that started the same year that my folks were taken away? So I suppose that might happen on occasion."

'Just lovely, of course he had.' "Do you happen to know what triggered either?"

"No - they just quit on their own after I moved out into to my tower on the edge of town instead of staying in Central." Ezra frowns a little, obviously thinking further back. "Come to think of it, that was also just about when things started getting easier in terms of my controlling my empathy. I think my instinctive skill for shielding may finally have gotten better or something." Ezra taps his small forehead lightly. "Before that period it was like things got quiet, then loud, then quiet again over and over in my head on this weird kind of rotation, until it all just faded to a kind of background static. Well until we met and things got strangely tickly inside my head."

"When we first met it *tickled?*'" Kanan raises an eyebrow at that admission. This is the first time Ezra's ever spoken in any kind of detail about his own experiences when they first made contact. His Padawan is, as a general rule, reluctant to describe the processes occurring inside that lockbox that he refers to as his head.

"Sort of. Sort of it was more like, oh I don't know…" Ezra pauses a moment to consider the issue then brightens, "have you ever had an itch you can feel back by your ears but you just can't seem to reach it to scratch it no matter what you do? It was kind of like that really, ever present and annoying because nothing I tried seemed to stop it…."

'Yeah kid, I hear you.' Sometimes the pull of the Force could be irritatingly insistant.

"And the same thing is happening to you again now?"

Ezra tilts his head, "No. That was just what happened when we first met. It was more of a throwaway comment. Since I woke up on Davosh 23…well it's not like it was the first time around but it's also not that different exactly. It's louder and the static's back now, but it's not affected by location in the same way it used to be, now it's more like its affected by the number of *people* around." He pauses chewing on his lip thoughtfully, then frowns, "Though now that I really think about it, maybe it was *always* that way before too and I was just too young then to process it consciously. Now *you're*…" He pauses,

"And now I'm?" Kanan's a little afraid to ask.

"Now, going back to the previous topic, Kanan, now you're itch that I CAN scratch when I feel it, without too much difficulty." He makes a huffing sound, then he blushes a little. "Sorry, I probably should have said that a little more tactfully."

Kanan, far from offended by the analogy, finds he simply wants to laugh at the boy's sheepish expression. If only because now every time one of them ping the other through the bond he's going to be stuck with the mental picture of an Ezra-colored lothcat, foot to his ear scratching furiously in reaction.

"But enough of this for now," Ezra's finished his own breakfast, judging by the way he sets his plate aside. Kanan wonders if the boy is aware of the fact that at this point he's so hyped up on having eaten real food that he's practically vibrating as he leans forward. "You mentioned that Rex needed our help on a mission? How? And where are we going to be going?"

"That site north of the base that you were talking to Rex about a couple of weeks ago. The job is basically scouting, site prep and if any of the lakes support life, local protein capture for nutritional analysis."

Ezra draws up short and shakes his head several times like he's trying to clear it before speaking. "Wait..hold on for just a minute…did you just imply that we're actually going FISHING? With Rex?!" The dark haired boy's tone at the query is outright incredulous.

Kanan snorts, unable to help the reaction. "Yes, we are, Ezra. Unless you have some kind of reasoned objection to us going along that I need to be made aware of?"

"Not really. Though I do have one question…what are we going to be using as bait? Cause I'm a whole lot smaller than Zeb is, and I'm inherently suspicious…."

Kanan can hear the smirk in Ezra's tone as he climbs off the floor and doesn't even consciously think about his next move -just instinctively delivers a sharp, quick swat to the seat of Ezra's pants in retaliation for the comment, in the same way he's seen other parents teasingly respond to their mouthy small children in city markets all across this part of the galaxy.

Then he freezes, and winces in preparation for the oncoming explosion of Ezra's almost inevitable reaction to the gesture. His Padawan doesn't even seem to *notice* for the moment though - any more than he would have a more typical smack to the back of the head. Instead, Ezra remains completely fixated on the novelty of idea being dangled in front of him.

"But…but Kanan whenever Zeb and I have asked you along you just wave us off. No offense or anything but I always thought that you genuinely hated fishing so why are we…?"

 _'Because my need to see you smile outweighs what amounts to a minor minor task loathing._ ' Kanan snorts in reply before answering, "I like 'fishing' just fine Kid. In my experience though, that's not what Zeb actually does when he goes down by the river. He chases around his prey with sharp sticks, yells too much and usually ends up soaking us both to the skin."

"Hey! Lasat spear fishing is *cultural*." Ezra shoots back indignantly. "And works better when you're working in shallow waters then a pole usually does…they do something a lot like it in some areas of Lothol too, where regular fishing lines would only get caught up or broken …."

"I'm just saying I have no objection to the fishing at all, Ezra, when the people engaged in it with me are *quiet.*"

"Understood." Ezra responds with what Kanan can clearly hear is a broad grin.

Force but right now the Kid's force signature is literally radiating his excitement. Zeb had not been understating the situation. His Padawan really does love to fish apparently. Though how he picked up the skill is a question that leaves Kanan more than a little bit curious, as Ezra's tower had been too far for a single days walk to and from the coast as far as Kanan remembers.

Ezra meanwhile, has finally continued speaking "So like then does Rex have poles that we're going to be able to use? Or are we going to need to make some while we're out there with some found sticks and fishing twine? Because my dad…" He pauses, nearly tripping over the words, "Back when I was little my dad spent nearly a whole summer of Saturday mornings with me fishing. If we need poles then I know exactly how to make them - as well as how to bait for almost anything. My mom used to effectively call it our regular 'weekly male bonding' session."

Oh. OH. Well, that explains any number of things. Including Zeb's repeated attempts over the past year or so to encourage Kanan to come down to the river with them 'just one damn time you stubborn hardhead - even if just to sit around with us and enjoy the 'medatative ambience'.

The Lasat had *known* Kanan's Padawan used to go fishing with his Dad - probably because Ezra had told him about it, and he's been trying to clue Kanan in on the opportunity to bond with the kid while helping him preserve his memories literally ever since. Kanan had wondered why the Lasat, who was generally pretty good at shrugging off his disinterest at offered activities most of the time, had kept pushing the idea over and over and over again.

'Look…I know you ain't lookin' try and replace his father, Kanan.." The older male had said to him once, "And truthfully you couldn't even if you wanted to. But life's like a broken transport sometimes, for lack of a better analogy. Especially when it comes to dealing with orphaned or otherwise abandoned kids. Everybody might have liked a transport just as it was initially, yeah, but when an axle snaps during an accident or auto grav generator fails on a barelly scraped up model, well then *someone* out there better man up and weld on a karking replacemen, and fast. Or an otherwise completely repairable, *beautiful* ship is gonna wind up on the top of the scrap heap - and Karabast if that's anything but a waste in my eyes. "

It's such a simple truth - such an obvious analogy once the point behind it fully clicks. Kanan kind of wants to beat his head against the wall of the bunk directly behind him over how long it's taken him so long to fully grasp what the Lasat had been trying to get at. Why is he always so fast to get caught up in the petty details of his own life and yet so slow to notice the supernovas of truth literally flaring to life at his feet?

'Can't change the past, Jarrus, you can only change what you do from this moment.' He reaches out to take Ezra's shoulder and squeeze it in a firm grip, smiling genuinely, making sure to meet his Padawan's enthusiasm with an equal measure of both teasing and encouragement. "I don't what Rex's going to be packing, Ezra, you'll have to ask him when we meet up. I imagine he'll likely have a variety of options considering the nature of the job, but even if I'm wrong and we end up having to rig a couple of different options up, that's more than fine with me. I enjoy the chance to build things with my hands and see how they work, and I would love to see what your Dad showed you regarding the subject of fishing as opposed to my Grandmaster. In fact, I'll even make you a bet for fun if you like - we'll compare what we've learned, over the duration of our time up north, and at the end the one of us with the biggest catch at the end of the trip gets to pick the set of katas we work on next week, agreed? " he pauses expectant, "So? What do you think?"

Ezra literally beams at that. Both in his force aura and in the real world, presumably. "I think it's a great idea, Kanan. Though for the record, you, Master mine, are about to be dead meat."

Kanan snorts "Well I can tell someone's getting cocky."

Ezra raspberries. Literally actually raspberries. "No just preparing you for the reality. Because there is no way in Sith hells that you are going to out fish me."

Probably so, but at this point Kanan's pretty sure he doesn't much mind the sacrifice. "We shall see, Junior. We shall see. In the meantime, though - you mind taking the dishes back to the kitchen for me?"

"Not at all." Ezra reaches out to start stacking them.

"Then do so, Mr Overconfidant and when you get back we'll pack and hopefully do some meditation before the agreed check in call to Rex."

"Sir, yes sir!" Ezra replies saluting, and heads out cheerfully.

xxxxxx

 ** _Chapter 3: Ezra_**

 ** _(In which puddles and family fights are every kids sworn natural enemy.)_**

This is what little of 'his fall' that Ezra remembers:

One moment he was dead, and the second he just...wasn't. The world was bright when he woke, and light sliced across painfully overstimulated senses. It bound up the breath in his chest and set all his nerves - which felt made new - to agonized howling.

His mind had been too big in that instant – somehow changed, somehow made entirely different, and his body had felt shrunken and tight around him, as if he had somehow been compressed down into the wrong size of skin. Indeed the only thing at all that hadn't felt out of place in that moment had been the sound of his own breathing and heartbeat, and then after that the bright strand of light pulsing painfully in one of the corners of his mind. That light which he just knew instinctively: that light which was his master, that light which was *Kanan.*

He'd known, without really knowing why, that the other man was in agony.

Reaching out for what he'd later realize had been the still fraying ends of their newly severed bond, and pouring all he was into connection to try and ease the pain, hadn't been instinct on his part exactly so much as raw desperation. But the effect had still been immediate and more than a little bit electrifying.

First there had been shock from Kanan in response, and then confusion and joy – boundless as the vastness of space itself - rising and sweeping like a tsunami of healing back toward him through the link, the man's sheer ecstatic relief cementing bits and pieces of each of them that had shattered back in their proper place almost effortlessly. Ezra is pretty sure by that point he'd been physically crying.

And Kanan Jarrus - Jedi Knight, protector, beloved master, dearest of friends – had clung to Ezra through the link, alternating between swearing, laughing and crying as he did so, until their hosts had necessarily willed an exhausted Ezra to 'Sleep' with the promise that when he woke both he and Kanan would see each other again.

That is the only part of his time after the fall that Ezra remembers clearly, until many hours later when he'd woken small, sore and wrapped in a scratchy woolen blanket. Hera had been stroking his hair, and he'd been cradled like a baby in Kanan's wide lap. It had been more than a day after that before either of them had been able to stop circling back around and around periodically to visually check on or touch him.

They've both gotten better about not being so clingy since. Hera hasn't been around to more than to chat occasionally and pat his shoulder in late at night or early in the morning since. Ezra understands that she's busy, but something about her frequent absences and the slightly off key smile that she plasters across her face every time she sees him coming these makes something tug in his gut a little queasily. After all of his years on the street he knows the feel of an adult who's anxious to have him out of their presence.

Kanan on the other hand, is always nearby since they got home, always monitoring. Not hovering or crowding Ezra with his presence, just there in a way that is both odd and fundamentally reassuring.

Ezra has to remind himself, over and over again as the days drag on, that he's too damn old to want to go climb back into his Master's lap.

xxxx  
This is what Ezra knows : one moment he's in the kitchen, sliding across the floor in his sock covered feet, intent on delivering the dishes from their breakfast into the sink so he can return to his room and help Kanan begin the process of packing for their journey with Rex. He feels almost giddy with his mind full of fishing and his stomach finally full of something approaching a decent morning breakfast...

Which is precisely when he skids, unseeing, right into a shallow standing pool water and then he's airborne, for several heart stopping seconds, and then he's landing, after striking the back of his head.

The next thing that Ezra Bridger is aware of, he's on his side on the floor, his face wet and his eyes staring blankly up at cupboard directly in front of him. His head is throbbing, and his whole mind feels clouded and somehow oddly sticky. Off somewhere to the right, Sabine is hollering at the top of her lungs for someone's assistance, though his brain can't quite work well enough to make sense of her words as meaning as well as in context. He winces at the sound: Karabast but Sabine is *so loud* when she screams. Could she maybe, like, turn the volume down at least a little bit? His eyelids slide shut against the brightness as he simultaneous flops over onto his back.

"Kanan! Zeb! Someone! I need help in here. Kanan! Ezra! Come on and open up your eyes, Bridger. Ezra can you hear me? Kanan, get in here now! Ezra! Zeb please kriffing hurry! Ezra, can you hear me? Open your eyes, please sweetheart and kriffing look at me. "

Ezra's distantly aware of the smell of blood, and that now the back of his pants are shirt are both soaking wet as well as his stocking feet. Kark: with what speeder exactly did he decide to play chicken? And how did it get in the kitchen? He hears a sniffle to the right of him.

He licks his lips, forcing a single word out of a pair of dry lips that feel a million miles away in distance as he forces his eyelid open. "Sabine." He forces a weak smile. "I'mmma all right, don't worry."

"Ezra. Thank the little Gods! You're doing great. Come on now, keep your eyes okay, and see if you can shift them look at me. That's right. You're doing great." On the bright side, at least Sabine is no longer so lost to sheer panic that she's bellowing. On the other, Force she looks scared to death at the moment.

He wiggles his fingers cautiously where he lays, then his toes, trying to physically assess his condition. His head throbs – probably from a concussion in progress, but nothing else he can feel seems particularly broken. Ohhhhhhhboy is he going to be sore in a few hours though - he can already feel the warmth of bruises forming. When he finally shifts his eyes to look more directly at Sabine the light just behind her bent head makes him want to puke in protest.

"Are…are the dishes okay?" He licks his lips, trying for another sentence. He really hopes they aren't broken. They'd been a present for her birthday from him and Zeb and he knows that the ceramics are Hera's favorite set."

Sabine's hand wraps around his own palm now, and she's squeezing it tightly, halfway between laughing and crying. "Ezra no one in the whole world gives a kriff right now whether you broke Hera's dishes. Just stay with me, and do not go to sleep!"

Then Zeb and Kanan both are skidding into the kitchen before he can form a coherrent reply, Kanan pale and breathing hard even as he drops to his knees right in the middle of the small pool water Ezra's lying in . Kark - why's the stuff all of a sudden gone from clear to bright pink?

Karabast! What in karking hell happened?!" Zeb's question comes out as a literal bellow from the door, and Ezra groans at the too sharp sound, because seriously, does *no one* in this room but him grasp the concept of 'silence?'"

Hey Big guy, could you please keep it *down?!"

Then he licks his lips and reaches out to try and pat Kanan's arm. "I'm fine, Kanan, really, I promise. I'm … I just hit some water when I was loaded down with our dishes and then I guess I just slipped."

"You fish tailed right through standing water and went ass over elbows, you mean!" And Force dammit Sabine but that tone is really not helping!

Kanan is trying to check his basic vitals. Seeking out his pulse at his carotid, placing a hand on his sternum to assess his carotid. His face is calm. But his mind...Kriff the hurricane he's locking away in his head at the moment. Just the feeling of his turmoil slams Ezra's eyes shut in pure self defense.

"Ezra." Kanan's voice is measured when he speaks, "Ezra I need you to open your eyes if they're not that way already. And then I need you to look at Sabine so she can check your pupils for me all right. Ezra I need you to verbally confirm if you can speak that you can still understand me."

Of course Ezra understands, he's been an active part of the kriffing conversation ever since Kanan first arrived hasn't he?

"Should I run and get one of the medics from over at the complex?" Now it's Zeb's turn to speak. His tone is anxious.

"It certainly wouldn't hurt. Head wounds bleed a lot but I'm more worried about possible concussion as the moment. This floor is almost as hard as ceramicrete. Go alert a medic and then get Hera back here as fast as you possibly can. Let her know what's happened, even if that means that you have to pull her out her meeting."

"Kriff," Ezra mutters. "She's gonna be pissed about that." Stupid water. Stupid slippery floor. Stupid him in the galley with only socks on his feet.

"She's going to be worried, Ezra, not mad. Zeb go ahead and get moving."

"On it Boss." Then there are footfalls falling away. Most likely Zen doing as Kanan suggested. "We need you to open your eyes, Ezra. " Kanan says it prompts him gently again.

Kriff but Ezra's dizzy right now, and growing nauseous. "I'm working on it," He finally manages. "Brain's having a little bit of trouble delivering messages at the moment."

"Well make it work harder already!" Sabine's voice snaps out – her voice simultaneously wobbly and angry, "Honestly Bridger, I've seen people show more grit after losing one of their limbs."

Ezra opens his mouth to retort, something clever or flippant or snarky to diffuse her tension, but then Kanan cuts him off with a thunderous bellow. "For Force Sake! DO NOT START THAT KRIFF WITH HIM RIGHT NOW, SABINE!"

And woah golly does *that* do the trick in terms getting his eyes open. Hello there world and my old friend adrenaline. He hadn't realized his master could literally feel like striking lightening - his protective rage at the words literally sheering into Ezra's own mind through their link.

At least his eye are open now - which hopefully has got count for something. Kanan is kneeling on the floor next to him on the right, while Sabine crouches down on his left, her eyes wide with shock at Kanan's reaction. She's literally gaping at him. Ezra's hand stretches out, wraps around Kanan's forearm, trying to yank Kanan's focus away from her and center it back on the less dangerous him. "I'm fine Kanan. It's going to be fine. She's…just venting steam at the moment. Like we all do sometimes.. Granted I'd generally prefer that she didn't do it in a way that makes me feel quite so much like Banthashit. But whatever works right now. It's not like I'm not currently pint sized for convenient kicking."

Kanan draws in a deep shaky breath while Sabine just stares at him, stricken. Ezra laughs, shakily, for both of their sakes. "It was a *joke* guys, okay. Just go with it for the moment."

Then his master's mind is calm again and Ezra's hand is being gripped tightly between both of Kanan's own. "We're all right Ezra. We're going to be just fine, I promise. Sabine assuming his eyes are open again I need you to check his pupils – are they fixed, uneven, dilated? How's his color look? Can you estimate his possible blood loss and time unconscious for me?"

She leans forward to check his eyes. "He's got normal pupils right now. He's definitely pale but not ashen." She breathes out, raggedly. "There's a fair amount of blood on the floor from when he hit his head, but with the water on the floor the amount's exaggerated...it's hard to tell how much he's lost so far exactly."

"Ezra you hit you head?"

He nods a little, than regrets it as the room spins. "Yeah, I did on the back left side I think."

"Did you twist funny when you went down? Did you have to roll to get onto you back? Do you have full sensation as far as you can tell in your fingers and toes? I'm a little worried about moving you but at the same time I really want to get you upright enough so I can check on the status of your head."

Ezra licks his dry lips, "Everything feels fine," He murmurs, wiggling his fingers and toes again, rotating his neck from one side to the other and then pushing himself up gradually in a half reclined on his arms sitting position. "I'm pretty sure I just smacked myself really good upside the head, Kanan. Nothing new about that. It's not like I can't spare the brain cells to or anything."

Sabine makes another harsh sound, this one somewhere between a whimper and a laugh. "Kriff Ezra, enough with the dark jokes and the sarcasm."

But then I wouldn't be *me.*" Ezra closes his eyes and breathes deeply for another moment or two, then pushes himself upright still just a little bit further, swaying as a wave of vertigo hints him. "Can I get a towel, or something to help clean up the back of my head? Feels really gross right now." Judging by the increasing stickiness running down the back of his neck now that he's mostly upright, he's probably still bleeding pretty steadily from where he bashed himself in the skull. The edges of his vision start blurring after a moment or two, and he shifts his gaze toward anxiously toward his master, whose arm's supporting his lower back at the moment. "I...I'm pretty dizzy right now, Kanan. Don't know how much longer I'm going to be able stay upright like this without tipping over to the side..."

"I've got you. Sabine, can you brace him for just a moment please?"

The Mandalorian nods. There's some shifting around, a couple of low sounds from both Ezra and Kanan, as Sabine eases him first slightly forward then backwards again, and then Kanan's sitting behind him instead of beside, and yeah, that's definitely better. Kanan's kind of huge and feels way too tall these days to be a really comfortable chair back for someone of his current size, but at least now Ezra's no longer worried about listing one way or another shoudl he suffer another round of vertigo.

"Are you still dizzy or nauseous?"

"Mmmhmmm. That would be a definite yes."

Gentle fingers are prodding along the back of his scalp now - carefully but steadily assessing – until Kanan locates Ezra's head wound. The pressure of the other man's touch is intentionally light but Ezra can't stop himself from flinching in pain at the contact of fingers to torn skin. Kanan's voice is sober as he maps the size and depth of the gash. "Yup, you're definitely going to need both bacta and stitches."

"Well kriff." Ezra grumbles. This day officially bites it. This better not mean that they don't get to fish.

"Karabast. Hera's going to kill me." Sabine mutters, hand flapping a little in sheer agitation. Behind Ezra, where he's still providing support for the moment, Kanan's whole body stiffens at the comment.

Ezra's brow wrinkles in confusion, "Wasn't your fault, Sabine. Like I said I just slipped. I should have been wearing shoes. As it was I was in a hurry and wasn't paying enough attention to the state of the floor of the kitchen."

But Sabine shakes her head, eyes wide with regret and clear agitation. "I'm sorry Ezra, I spilled some water while…while I was cleaning off some of my brushes about half an hour ago in the middle of working on a painting. I was going to come back and clean the mess up as soon as I dropped the supplies back in my rooms up but then I got distracted by a call from Hobbie and I just…"

Behind Ezra, Kanan growls, actually growls "How many times are you, me and Hera going to have to talk about this, Sabine?!"

Ezra coughs, a little alarmed by the way things are suddenly escalating "Kanan, she… it was an accident okay? I should have been paying attention..."

"No, it *wasn't* an accident." Kanan snaps back. "Not when this is the third time something like this has happened since she first came aboard." He scowls at Sabine over Ezra's shoulder, "It wasn't an accident. You were just being careless. And now he's gotten hurt because of it- after all the kriff you've been given him lately about his being reckless and selfish."

"I'm sorry." Sabine all but cries out, completely horrified by the whole situation. "It's been literal *years* since I forgot to clean up last time, Kanan. I didn't know that he'd be coming back into the kitchen so soon! You..you'd promised me that you'd be tracking him down and talking to him immediately after breakfast."

"Which is beside the point completely. Do not try and divert the blame here, Sabine! You are not a child, and this wasn't a minor faux pau like it's been before...this isn't Hera's slightly turned ankle or my couple mild bruises. Ezra's going to need multiple stiches. He probably has a concussion right now Sabine!"

"Guys - it's fine...!

"I..." With each sentence Kanan's form is getting tauter, Sabine is getting paler and Ezra can literally feel the anger and guilt rising up like twin tsunami waves about to sweep over and devestate all three of them. " I'm all right. It'll heal. Just stop fighting. *Please.*"

Then suddenly there's a new voice as indignation and a sharp wave of pure *disgust* is added to the rippling currents . And Ezra's pounding head, and ever roiling stomach has simply had enough.

Ezra turns to his left side and simplu vomits. Despite his best efforts to prevent it, some small amount of his previous breakfast hits both he and Kanan's pants legs in the process. Karabast. "I'm sorry." He babbles, "Kriff I'm so karking sorry."

And just like that, the whole room goes utterly silent.

Then there's a low, furious snarl of epithet in Ryl, and before Ezra can say anything more , Hera's striding forward, her mind radiating disgust and anger as she reaches down to scoop him up and out of Kanan's grip without preamble. "Go and cool off, guys. BOTH of you. Before you make this any worse than it already is. I've got him."

"No!" Ezra cries out, backing into Kanan instinctively, irrationally panicked – this was not what he asked for: he wants Kanan to stop yelling at Sabine, yes. But that doesn't mean he wants to be up and abandoned into the keeping of someone who's radiating disgust just from looking down at him. He wants Kanan to stay. Force, if Kanan doesn't stay for the moment at least he may, in fact, completely flip his lid. "Kanan stays. I don't want him to go."

"…Ezra." Hera's voice is odd, different - low and much softer than it was just a minute before. She's practically frozen in place where she stands, half crouched down in front of him, hands still extended in preparation to lift him up and away. His hands clench into the fabric of Kanan's pants legs, instinctively.

And just like that her hands fall and she steps back and away. "Kanan - what the Kriff?" There's a queer combination of shock, hurt and regret in her eyes as she studies him. Then her eyes shift to look over his neares shoulder, where Kanan has also started speaking.

"Ezra. It's okay, kiddo. You're fine…Hera just wants to help…"

"NO!" And Force he sounds desperate. Like he's forgotten how to breathe right or something. It this what it sounds like when someone is hyperventilating?

Arms tighten around him from behind, "I'm not going anywhere, Kid. Ezra, calm down, you're safe. You're fine do you here me. I'm here and it's going to be fine."

It's at that precise moment, shaking with adrenaline and pain both that he finally consciously realizes there's something very, very wrong with his usual shielding.

It's less than it should be right now, not enough for all that he's trying to keep it impermeable, and Force but he hurts. He's picking up on *everything* at the moment whether he wants to or not: everyone's anger, their guilt, their fear, and it's just too much on top of his own hurricane spin of emotion. It's too strong, too sharp, it's too wild to handle all at once.

"What…?" He gasps out, eyes slamming shut, hands coming up to press on the sides of his head desperately keening, "Karabast what is happening to me?" A trickle of moisture runs down and over his lip, before increasing into to a small stream. Hera curses in shock, reaching out to gently touch his face. When her hand pulls back, it's literally coated in bright red … It takes Ezra a dizzy, detached sort of moment to realize that he must be having some kind of major nose bleed.

"Hera?" Kanan's voice is tight when he speaks from behind him. He's clearly asking for more information.

"He…Kanan, his nose just started gushing blood all of sudden."

There's a pause of about half a second after that, before his master starts cursing softly under his breath. Then careful hands shift Ezra's body ninety degrees, shifting him down to rest with his head in the crook of Kanan's left elbow - his body in a basically cradled position much like an oversized infant - as Kanan's fingers go directly to his forehead, the older Jedi's mind reaching directly for his. "Sith spit." Kanan curses, "The concussion's just effectively crashed the last his shielding."

Ezra whimpers at the feel of the other man's frustration tangled up in his words, jerks at Hera's corresponding flash of near panic, and Kanan grimaces lips thining. "I'm so sorry Ezra. I've got it covered okay - just hold on another minute, Kid..." Then there's another sensation - this one subtle and soothing - a lot like a warm wind of calm and reassurance sweeping through his mind even as something snaps up bulwark strong around the both of them, and all the overflows of everyone else's emotion he felt before are suddenly simply gone, the flood shut off like the handle of a streaming water faucet.

"Oh thank kriff." Ezra's whipcord tight body shudders once then drops back almost bonelessly into Kanan's lap.

"Kanan!" Hera's voice is even more alarmed. She's got a soft cloth pressed fully against his nose now, and is trying to mop up the mess on the lower half of his chin with a washcloth Sabine has supplied her. "Is he…"

"He's fine. He just busted, well, an empathic fuse, basically. I'm pretty sure he has a concussion right now as just said, on top of him having some ongoing issues the last two weeks with his mentalshielding."

"He's had what?!" Sabine squeaks out the question breathlessly. "You could have warned us about that, Kanan!

"Why - because it's required for you to know that he's even more vulnerable than you already though before you're willing to uncap your damn karking pool empathy? I wasn't hiding anything, okay? It's something I only just figured out myself earlier when we were talking this morning."

Ezra's eyes pop open, this time him glare is accompanied by a fierce scowl. "Oh come on you guys. Can you just *not* for awhile until you like, you know, actually treated or drugged me? Can the smackdown occur please after I'm finally asleep?"

Hera stares at Kanan then – for a long hypercritical moment, before she looks over her own shoulder at Sabine and jerks her head toward the exit door. "Why don't you give us some space for awhile, okay? I'll come find you once Ezra's been treated and update you on the situation. "

The Mandalorian simply nods, avoiding Kanan's gaze as Ezra watches her, and flees.

Then Hera's eyes are back on him again, and Ezra tries to force a genuine smile for her, because she doesn't look all that much better than Sabine had earlier really - she's pale and confused and alarmed - and at the world's not so painful anymore - which should count for something in terms of providing reassurance.

Hera hardly seems to notice that she has his gaze at all, though. Instead her voice is low, as she speaks directly to Kanan, "We still need to get him to med bay to deal with his scalp wound. And I want to send for one of the medics, just as a precaution. Are you okay to lift him on your own Kanan, or do you want me to take him so you can go and get into something dry and clean before we treat him?"

Ezra's body stiffens at the words again for reason's he can't exactly make sense of himself, but Kanan only shakes his head without even glancing down. "No. We're fine for the moment. Let's get him to medbay. I already sent Zeb to get help when we found him a couple of minutes ago. I take it he didn't find you before that pull you out of your meeting?"

Hera shakes her head. "I specifically asked them to move a few things around this morning so I could make it back for lunch. I wanted some one on one time with with Sabine. She's having some issues at the moment."

Kanan nods. "She'd probably have liked. So Medbay then. Do we have all the gear right now that's needed for stitches?"

"Assuming they use the same needle and thread sizes for children, yeah, we should. All right. Be careful when you get up, Kanan– blood and water are both all over the floor and it's slippery as a result."

"I know." Kanan informs her softly "I could smell the blood in here the first moment that I came in…Sabine was screaming bloody murder too. The Kid scared the hell out of me."

Ezra wets his lips at that, "Sorry, Master."

" It's not your fault Kiddo."

"...Also isn't Sabine's"

"We're going to have to agree to disagree on that one Ezra, but don;t worry about it for the moment." A broad hand strokes the hair on his forehead once, lightly, and then his master is shifting his grip again, reaching an arm under Ezra's small shoulders and another under his knees before exhaling slowly and rising up to his feet. Ezra looks out at the world from this new perspective for a moment, then closes his eyes against the vertigo the change in positioning brings.

"Force but you're tall." He complains, "It's like being carried around by a tree."

Hera chuckles softly, but Kanan's voice is warm and stern as he answers. "Oh no, you don't, Kid. Eyes open - you are not allowed to sleep yet. No flirting with the sandman until we get your head all stitched up and the doctor checks you over at least."

"Kay." Ezra, answers, mussily. It takes a few moments effort, but he does get his eye open again, then he winces, ashamed as the smell of blood and human sick assails his nose again, "Sorry about the blood and the vomit thats now on your pants, Kanan…"

His master shrugs, causing Ezra to raize and then fall slightly. "It happens, Ezra. I can just wash them later. Don't worry about it anymore for the time being. Besides it's not like I'm the only one who's going to have to clean up. You're just as much of a mess right now as I am."

"Good. I hate this shirt. Velociraptors should not be wearing cowboy boots and bandanas. It's stupid. For that matter most kids clothes these days are." Force his eyes feel so heavy.

"If you hate it that much then why are you wearing it, Ezra?" Hera asks him a little curiously, having fallen into step beside him and Kanan as they walk, her boots matching Kanan's own trod on the floor almost perfectly.

Ezra shrugs, "Well I c an't exactly run around naked, can I? All two other shirts which I have that don't drown me at the moment were still in the fresher when I woke up. They're all stupid yes, but I don't exactly have the leewat to be choosy."

Hera reaches out and squeezes Ezra nearer forearm briefly. "I'm sorry, Ezra…you kind of have been left with the short end of the stick last last week or so haven't you? I really meant to plan a market run as soon as we reported back in on the siituation at Yavin, but then officers from around the base offered me a few bags of their kid's old hand me downs and I didn't stop and think how you might feel about having to just live with other people's random cast offs. We'll try and find some stuff more to your taste, on our next supply run, I promise. No more living with cowboy dinosaur t-shirts as your only real option."

Ezra nods, "And plain shoes - not ones with holovid characters on them. Especially not from bad cartoons. Do I LOOK like the kind of kid who would voluntarily watch something called Red, Rose and Rover? Just no…" He wrinkles his nose as both adults chuckle and Ezra pokes Kanan in the chest very grumpily. "Yeah laugh it up you overly heighted gifted asshole, but I'm telling you from my perspective, it funny at all anymore after the ninth day in a row of having to deal with it." .

There's a moment of silence, then Kanan's arms tighten around him just slightly, as Hera speaks at the same time. "I hear you. And we'll take care of it I promise. In the meantime we're almost there You're doing great, " Kanan murmurs, "Just a little bit longer okay." Then a moment after that, "Also, watch your kriffing language."

Ezra's head lulls to the side at that, a little smile tilting his lips as he finally acknowledges at least a little bit of the humor of his present situation. "Oh well, at least my underwear right now is all black and not covered in speeders or something, because there'd definitely be a joke to be made if they were, but not one that wouldn't get me grounded indefinitely."

Kanan snorts, while Hera keys open the door to the medlab, "Take him over to the table, Kanan,– get him out of those wet, bloody clothes and swaddle him up in a blanket or something. I'll get some warm soap and water so we can wash the blood out of his hair, and then while you get to work on that I'll get you both some clothes that you can change into once you're through."

"Or I can just clean up in the med shower." Ezra suggests, "It'd be faster and way less messy to clean up then trying to wipe up via towels or sponge bath."

Kanan snorts behind him, as he sets Ezra down with his legs dangling over the edge of treatment table "Sure it would be, Kid, in other circumstances, anyway Like if you were currently capable of, oh I don't know, actually standing."

"Hey - I can stand up just fine on my own, thank you very much." Ezra grumps, and tries to demonstrate in order to prove it, only to discover that the moment that his weight lands on both of his feet, he wobbles precariously. Only Kanan's quick hands keep him from toppling over and netting himself yet another concussion.

"Just be still, Ezra, I've got things covered for now. We're good." Kanan informs him, once again depositing him on the exam bed. Then gentle but efficient hands begin to methodically strip him out of his blood and water soaked clothing, lifting his shirt carefully over his scalp wound and averting his eyes as Ezra wiggles out of his pants and underwear quickly, before enfolding his entire body inside a warm checkered blanket. "Now let's see about cleaning up the blood on your hair as best as we can."

It only takes another minute or so after that for Hera to return, the Twilek pilot wheeling in a basin of faintly steaming water on a cart as well as clothing changes for both himself and Kanan . Ezra smiles at her warmly as she comes through the door. "Thank you, for literally helping cover my ass at the moment. " He smirks at his own joke even as Hera rolls her eyes in response, then he turns toward Kanan glaring, poking a finger into his chest. "Hera can help with that for now. Go - get cleaned up yourse;f and then come back and stitch up my head once she's done, because don't think for a moment that this gets you out of our fishing trip. Because it does not. A tiny little head wound is not going to stop me from kicking your ass at our bet."

"Ezra.." Kanan hesitates, clearly concerned at the suggestion that this fall should somehow not change their plans, only to have his nose nearly poked by the tiny pointer finger of an emphatically waving hand.

"Fish. Ing. Kanan. We are going fishing. Like you promised. If in worst case scenario, I do have a *minor* concussion, well then we're using poles, not spears or nets, aren't we? So it won't be a problem. I'll just nap on the shore on a blanket when not demonstrating my utterly obvious skills in terms of piscine dominance. This," He points at his head, "Isn't bad enough you need to cancel our mission."

"Kanan, what on earth is he talking about?" Hera's voice chimes in then, from the side her voice somewhere between confused and indignant.

Ezra turns to face her, voiceand face alight with sheer glee. "Kanan and I have a rebellion related assignment all of our own, Hera. We're capturing and assessing local water based protein sources. With Rex. "

"Oh are you *really?*" She crosses her arms, looking over at Kanan, very *very* deliberately.

Which is the exact minute that the Medic from the base's larger medical facility comes through the door with a fast moving Zeb at her heels . Much to Kanan Jarrus' sincere, *immediate* relief.


	2. Rex 2

_**In which Ezra is diagnosed, and still drives a hard bargain, Hera nearly spills her drink and Rex and Kanan cope as usual, in the best ways that they can.**_

Rex is just finishing up picking up the last of the weekend's requisitions and grabbing a snack at the Rebel Encampments central marketplace, when he hears the words from two tables over, via the base's seeming endless scuttlebutt generator. "So, it looks like Bridger's just landed himself in some kind of trouble yet again."

His head cocks to the side, attention sharpening though he determinedly does not look in the direction of other table's occupants – he has no intention of encouraging the gossip spreading around base regarding the Ghost Crew's current situation if it can possibly be prevented. Kanan and the rest of Specter Crew all have more than enough stress to deal with already without this kind of Bantha poodoo adding into it.

Still, it's not like at this point he can actively stop hearing the gossip either. It might be wise to have some clue what other people on Yavin are actually saying, and through whom the news is spreading, so he knows what asses need to have a potential little chat with his boots.

"What happened this time?" The Gold Squadron pilot asked, taking a sip of her milkshake.

"No clue…I wasn't in Medlab myself at the time." Her dark-haired colleague replies, "But my friend Cadgeson was picking something and he swears on his Nonna's secret fudge recipe that Garazeb Orrelios himself came barreling into the place looking for one of the emergency medics to bring them back to the Ghost with him. It sounds as if Bridger took a nasty fall while he was on the ship. The Lasat was apparently 'pretty frantic.'

"Zeb doesn't get frantic. He usually only gets mad."

"Yeah, well, Cadgeson says that this time he essentially did. He was so wound up the medic grabbed a triage kit and left with him in under three minutes."

Rex doesn't bother to wait to hear any more details after that. He's already up and out of his seat by the end of the sentence, bag slung up and onto his right shoulder, mind mentally mapping out the most efficient path through the Yavin 4 Complex as he recreates his current itinerary. He'll stop at his ship first to quickly stow away his newest supplies, then at the set of 'boardrooms' where the rest of the command staff usually holds their daily meetings. If Hera's still there then that'll serve as an indication that the fall was minor enough Kanan didn't bother to inform her and he'll know that the rumors were probably greatly exaggerated. If she's been pulled out her meeting though, well that's another matter entirely.

There's no point getting all riled up either way though until he has more information.

His mind's eye goes back to porcelain fragile-looking child he'd seen while visiting the Ghost earlier this morning, recalling the way the child's balance had wobbled precariously on the galley's countertop as he'd gone looking for his breakfast. Ezra Bridger can be incredibly stubborn sometimes, Rex knows this quite well. The Padawan's always been, in Rex's experience, almost fanatically independent about taking care of himself.

If Hera's not in her meeting, well then in light of what he's just heard, it certainly can't hurt for Rex to just pop over to the Ghost himself for a little while to check up on things. He can always pass it off as just checking back to provide more trip information.

A few minutes later he's abandoning his glance through the windows into the briefing room (No Hera) in favor of heading for The Ghost's assigned Yavin 4 parking berth directly. He doesn't intend to butt in where he's not needed if he can possibly help it - he knows better than to needlessly inflame any high-stress situation by trying to, but that doesn't mean that Hera and Kanan might not be happy to have someone volunteer to act as a - he doesn't exactly know what to call it - a public gatekeeper? To deal with other base crew that will be coming eventually to check in? Because if the rumors keep spreading like they are at present – which he doesn't doubt for a second they will, then he's likely not the only person on base who'll hear and become concerned enough to come or come check in. Ezra and the Ghost crew tend to be pretty well liked by just about everyone, and a bulwark on the boarding ramp may be of tremendous help in the short term while they try and assist Ezra if Rex handles the dispersal of updates and information.

'And if that's not necessary either,' Rex acknowledges to himself with a little shrug, 'Then at least I'll find out straight away what has actually occurred instead of being stuck with half-formed gossip and rumor-mongering.' Which he much prefers to the endless web of maybe's that his own mind currently trying to weave.

When he gets to the Ghost's docking slip roughly seven minutes later it's to see the vessel's disembarkation ramp still open, despite the mild drizzle of rain that's started in the last half or so. Rain on Yavin 4 tends to be relatively frequent, but also incredibly brief, and this particular burst of precipitation has had very little effect on the day's overall visibility, which is why in very short order Sabine catches Rex's eye.

The twenty-one year old is sitting in the cargo main hold, on one of the room's larger boxes, she's gazing down the ramp and out into the continuous drizzle with an anxious little frown on her face, playing with the cuticles of first one than the other of her nervous, restless hands.

"Hey, Wren!" Sabine raises her hand in a half wave of sorts when she sees him, then jumps off the box and heads down the slope of the ramp to meet him as he continues his approach. "Hey, Rex. How're you doing?"

"There's a rumor going around the market that…" He starts.

Sabine cuts him off before he can finish. "It's true. Ezra fell about an hour or so ago while he was in the Galley and busted open his head. Hera, Kanan and the doctor are all with him right now dealing with the gash on the back of his head."

Rex winces at that, "Let me guess? The kid was climbing up somewhere where he shouldn't be?"

"No!" Sabine's reply surprises Rex a little – it's gone from glum to defensive and a little bit angry at the mere suggestion at the same time, which is surprising given her earlier comment. "He…I…There was a water spill on the galley floor that he didn't notice when he carried in the tray of he and Kanan's dishes from breakfast. His view was badly blocked and well…he just slipped, couldn't recover his balance fast when he flailed fast enough. By the time I heard the crash of Hera's china breaking and made it into the galley to find out what had happened there was blood all over both him and the floor. His eyes were closed and…well…he scared the kark out of all of us basically."  
Rex winces a little at that mental image. "Yeah, scalp wounds do tend to bleed like the Sith's Own Hells when they happen. It usually looks way worse than it is though. So, do they think that he has an actual concussion or?"

Sabine shrugs, "Well, Kanan sure thinks he does, at least. Either way, they made him get checked over by a medic. Normally a head wound like this wouldn't be such a big deal – I mean we've all had to be monitored for concussion once or twice after a mission went south, that's just the nature of the work, but Ezra's just so kriffing small right now and kids' skulls are so much softer apparently…I think they're worried that…" She lets the words cut off, looking down at her hands, which Rex notices have clenched into tight fists. "They're worried that he might have... Karabast," She mutters, changing directions abruptly, "The past few days: I've been so kriffing petty and stupid. The kark that I've given Ezra over what amounts to nothing and then this had to happen to him...and he's lying there on the floor bleeding and making awful jokes like it's his job at the moment to try and make me feel better…the idiot."

Rex smiles sympathetically, then makes a point to turn her, and nudge her back up the boarding ramp and into the ship for the rest of this obviously needed conversation. "I take it you're feeling pretty bad about how you guys have been getting over the past few days?"

Sabine nods, almost convulsively in response to the question. "Yes. He could have…he could have ended with a skull fracture, Rex and it was…it is my fault, I'm the reason he's even injured first place. Kriff, I try I really do but sometimes I'm just so damn stupid." She mutters the last bit again.

Rex pokes her shoulder with one finger, gently. "Now enough of that, Lady Wren – it isn't going to help anyone, least of all Ezra for you to fall into this particular mindset. Why do you figure you're even responsible for his injury?" Once they're inside the bay again he settles down on one of the room's various piles of cargo crates, patting the space right beside him and making sure this time not to choose something directly within sight of the ramp entrance.

"I…I'm the one who got distracted while I was painting and accidentally left water pooling on the floor in the galley after cleaning my brushes, Rex. I should know better than that. Karabast, I *do* know better than that, I just let myself get distracted, which is not an excuse. Kanan's right it was selfish and childish. I've been giving Ezra ten levels of hell the last few days about how reckless and stupid he's been ever since he saved me on that planet and then the minute he's out of sight *I* go and…" She shakes her head disgustedly and beats her fists against her own knees. "Somebody ought to beat on *my* ass, honestly." She finally grumbles, her eyes downcast, her lips pursed and face full of self-loathing.

"Why bother, though, when you're so clearly handling that job all on your own?" Rex replies a little dryly.

Sabine's head flies up – she glares at him unhappily over the words, but Rex still opts not to back down in the slightest - after all if he's learned anything in his long years of living it's that there's almost nothing in life as useless as a mire of guilt or self-pity that doesn't almost immediately lead to a significant move toward action in order to make amends.

If accountability is necessary for personal growth, then penance, in Rex's opinion at least, is downright holy.

"I mean yes, it sounds on the outside like you screwed up big time, and someone else got hurt. It happens to the best of us – unfortunately. Did you deliberately mean for it to happen?"

"Of course I didn't, Rex!" That's better – now the girls gone straight from self-loathing to righteously indignant at the idea. It's a much shorter trip from there to the actual choice between restitution of wrongs or the continuation of pointless brooding. He shifts his body enough to face hers almost head-on.

"Then the way I see it, Sabine Wren, you've got two options on how you're going to proceed at the moment. One – you can frown yourself in the shame of what just happened and the part you played in it, or you can commit yourself to learning something from it so it never happens again. And well no, I'm no Ezra Bridger, maybe, I still I can still guess exactly which one he'd tell you to pick if he were the one talking to you right now, both because he hates when the people he cares about are hurting and because, to state this completely bluntly, restitution's far, far more functional and healthy than shame on any kriffing day of a week."

"You're probably right about that."

"I'm rumored to be decently observant. And I know the kid fairly well these days now that I'm buried the hatchet with Kanan, and Hera likes to occasionally sneak a quiet night," Rex's lips quirk a little, "Not to mention if Ezra really just cracked his skull open and is going to be stuck in bed for a few days as a result than I'm betting he'd encourage you to pick penance over self-loathing just because he'd love to have a 'slave' for distraction purposes to bring him things and keep him occupied. That particular penance in specific certainly makes a whole lot of sense."

Sabine lets out a wet little giggle at that assessment from the Clone trooper. "Actually, Rex the last I heard Ezra's still swearing up and down and left to right – to Kanan, to the doctor, to Hera, to everyone he comes in contact with, that a 'tiny little gaping head wound' unfairly acquired should not deny him the opportunity to go up north and fish."

Rex raises his eyebrow at that, lips quirking. "Do tell…" Zeb had mentioned Ezra likes fishing when Rex had first suggested the trip yes, but likes it this much? It seems that he and Kanan had indeed come up with an effective antidote to the Padawan's earlier malaise if he was defending their little excursion that vociferously.

Sabine snorts, "Apparently Ezra took to the news of your trip with about as much excitement as a zealot takes to the idea of a pilgrimage?" She shrugs, "I don't really know why. Kid's weird as kark sometimes, I've never fully understood him."

Rex's smile grows fond, "Well fishing's an honorable sport all on its own– he certainly could have done a lot worse I think, in terms of acquiring hobby. Do you happen to know who taught him to fish and when? Was it back on Lothal? Was it one or both of his parents? Or did he pick it up from a friend?"

Sabine opens her mouth then closes it, her expression clearly poleaxed by what Rex had assumed was a pretty unremarkable question. "I…I don't know." She admits after a moment. "We've never really talked about it, or any of his other hobbies really, just about my art and tech and the mundanities of his rougher days training with Kanan. Which is odd when you consider how long I've known him, I suppose."

"Well if you want to change that then you ought to ask him about it sometime if it's something he seems to enjoy that much - I bet the reason he likes it is tied to a who every bit as much as why. For most of us, hobbies stick in part because of the positive memories or relationships that we associate with having them. We stick with what we remember made us feel good the last time we did it essentially."

Sabine nods at that, chewing on her lower lip, her dark eyes thoughtful "We don't really tend to ask Ezra a lot about the time before he joined the crew truthfully, Rex. His background is…well, it's rough, and sometimes he gets touchy or snappy. Or sad – which is a thousand times worse, at least in my own opinion. When someone's past is that painful to talk about then there's no point in rubbing their history repeatedly into their faces, or at least that's what I've always thought. Why salt a wound if there isn't a need."

Rex snorts, then chuckles softly at the comment, rubbing his eyebrow.

"What?" Sabine tilts her head at him.

"Don't take this the wrong way okay – but elephants in the room don't ever really leave. They just create a lot of kark that has to be shoveled up later. Whether you guys are talking to him about it or not I guarantee Ezra's past is front and center in his mind at the moment. I mean it has to be every time he looks in a mirror, don't you think Sabine?"

"…I hadn't really considered the subject all that much."

"Well I honestly can't think of anything but that at the moment. Karabast, but the kid's got to be even mentally tougher than I gave him credit. It can't be easy staying sane when one day you're eighteen and the next you're waking up seven."

"He actually claims that he's closer to eight or nine…or that he remembers looking like he does at that same age. Which I personally think is Banthashit, but…"

"But?"

Sabine's lips tighten, "His early childhood wasn't exactly reliable, Rex in terms of when or how often he got the chance to eat. If he says he was still this small at age eight or nine, then he may be telling the truth, but that doesn't mean that he was necessarily that way naturally or healthily. Kriff he's just so karking small." Sabine mutters. "It makes me a little paranoid really, if I let myself dwell on it too much, that something else bad is almost inevitably going to happen again sometime soon. Our lives have never been what you'd call quiet."

"Something already has happened. And he's surviving it just fine from what you're telling me so far" Rex points out with a gentle smile, "Well enough that he's concerned about fishing not healing, even. So no matter what else happens before all of this finally gets sorted out by the people who saved his life in that cave, at least you'll all know that in this time around age seven can't be any worse than the last one was, anyway."

Sabine chokes aloud at that comment. Rex frowns and pounds her back, "You okay, Wren?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just, well that's not much of a benchmark, Rex. Seven for Ezra last time around was…pretty much hell on earth, actually. His parents were arrested by the Empire on the day literally on his 7th birthday and he spent the next seven years living alone on the streets until the mission we crossed paths with him I'm pretty sure by that point he'd grown comfortably used to occasional runs of starvation."

Rex winces, then spread his arms a little, gesturing as if she's just made his point, "Well at least this time around there's no need for him to fear that'll repeat, is there. He's got you guys after all, doesn't he? And it's not like he'd have any reason to think you're going to dump or abandon him."

The Mandalorian looks at him a long moment, utterly silent then finally shakes her head, as if clearing it of a cloak of clinging cobwebs.

"Yeah. I guess he does have a better support system to help him get through this, now that you put it that way." She pushes herself upright onto her feet, beginning to walk toward the ladders with a motion of her hand for him to follow. "Come on, let's go upstairs and check in on them all right? It should be safe by now I think. Ezra'll be happy to see you so he has another chance to plead his case, I think."

Rex protests a little, even as he matches his steps to Sabine own. "I don't want to intrude…especially if the kid is feeling cruddy or is still with the doctor. I just came to check. I try whenever possible to get the facts over accepting the rumors. When I heard the scuttlebutt I just got a little worried – especially the way he was climbing around like a monkey earlier this morning."

"They gave Ezra something for the pain over an hour ago now. I don't think he's feeling anything but loopy at the moment, so you don't need to worry about that. Which reminds me…" Sabine stops suddenly, turning to face him. "His probable concussion…along with his drop in age – I don't know which is really more responsible - it's apparently done something to his psychic shielding. Be careful about avoiding extremes of emotion in his presence if at all possible, just to be safe. Kanan says he's helping bolster the Kid's shielding now but that doesn't change the fact that earlier Ezra got so worked up by all our anger and panic after he fell the galley that he literally ended up throwing up all over himself and Kanan when his shields overloaded and crashed."

Rex winces at that, then pauses where he is for a moment or two to deliberately clear and steady his mind, via the same meditative pattern he'd learned years ago while watching over Obi Wan and Anakin. Obi Wan, in particular, had been more than happy to share his knowledge on the subject with any Vod who wanted to learn -claiming it made for less cluttered more focused pre-battle planning and first engagements. He hadn't needed the skill in years, perhaps, but he also hadn't entirely forgotten it.

"Thanks for the advice. Are you going to be doing the same yourself?" Rex asks as Sabine leads him down the corridor to stop and ring the chime in front of the Medbay entrance.

"Oh I'm not going in there right now…" Sabine is quick to inform him wryly. "Kanan's with Ezra right now at his request…there seems to be some injury induced separation anxiety at play in the Kid at the moment – maybe because Kanan's doing most of his shielding right now, maybe just because he's spent the most time since the fall just, well, hanging out around him. Either way, I'm the last person on earth that Kanan needs to see if he's going to keep Ezra on an even keel at the moment. Hopefully, that'll change later. If he actually lets me apologize."

Than the Mandalorian painter is turning on her heel, with nothing but a tiny nod of her, leaving Rex to wait for the door in front of him to slide open as he tries to ferret out what precisely that all had meant, and how it might affect the coming weekend.

"Heeeeeeeey Rex. Howya Doing?!"

And okay, yeah the kid is definitely doped up to gills right now.

"Hello, Ezra." He says with a bemused little smile, stepping into Medbay and letting the door close behind him.

xxx000xxx000xxx000xxx000

Ezra Bridger is currently lying in the middle of the med bed. Well okay not so much lying down as half laying down and half in a bizarrely uncomfortable looking sitting position. He's in one of those poses that adults usually shun and young children always make look easy – cross-legged and partially reclined against the elevated upper half of the bed – his face deeply relaxed and his body all but apparently boneless.

Which doesn't change the fact that he's also tremoring noticeably – body twitching with hundreds of like shaking motions that are making his teeth chatter just a little as he lays covered in what looks like at least three separate layers of blankets. "Are you still feeling cold Ezra?" Hera murmurs from her spot on the right side of the bed, frowning as she looks down at the way the blankets only half cover his narrow shoulders, before tugging them up slightly and tucking them in firmly around the edges of his body.

"I wasn't all that cold to begin with," Ezra tells her with a wry grin, "Like I told you and Kanan earlier, my reaction to this particular medication can be odd from what I remember. I'm not like allergic to it or anything - but it always makes me shake at first. I'm not sure why."

The doctor at Hera's side chuckles softly, while on the other side of the bed Kanan reaches out a hand to stroke through the hair on his Padawan's forehead with low soothing tone. "It's called an atypical therapeutic response, Ezra, and if it makes you feel any better to hear this it was actually a fairly common reaction among the humanoid Jedi at the temple as well."

"Stoooop it," Ezra whines, in response to his master's touch, even as his eyes slide shut. "You keep on doing that and I'm gonna fall asleeeeeeeep, I already told you that Kanan."

Rex can't hold back a chuckle as he comes through the door and approaches the foot of the bed, near where Kanan's standing. "Right now, Ezra, I'm pretty sure that's the point. You look more like bait than predator right now, Vod'ika, at least from where I'm standing. It's probably wise we delay awhile and let you get some sleep."

The look that that observation earns Rex is wounded and pitiful: betrayed. "It's just a stupid cut and a couple of stitches, Rex. I've had worse by far believe me." Ezra mutters rebelliously.

"And psychic shock. And an admittedly mild concussion." The doctor dryly interjects, earning herself an equally tragic look from the Padawan. "Though honestly the first issue, at least from what I've read, wouldn't be hurt that much by a quiet, nature focused mini vacation. At least it'd be a lot quieter up northe than in this psychic fishbowl you're trapped in right now. But of course, that's just my own personal thoughts on the subject, as opposed to your Master or your CO's final call on the subject."

"My CO?" Ezra snorts at that. "Do I *look* big enough to be allowed anywhere near a cockpit at the moment, Doctor Agel? Hera's just my...Hera, right now. To have a A CO requires my having access to an actual squadron, and I am indefinitely grounded at the moment. Even if I am technically four months away from actually turning 18." The boys lips quirk up a little, on the left side of his mouth, "The ironic part of that, in this case, being that this time around I didn't even do anything particularly boneheaded to deserve to lose my wings. I just tried to help a friend and so get to live like this now..." He gestures downward, "Without the benefit of having been asked if I even wanted to be stuck with this body."

Neither Hera or the doctor can completely hide their blink in response to that statement. Kanan frowns his shoulder stiffening…

"Ezra…" He shifts his jaw, clearly looking for the right words to speak.

Which is when Rex surprises them all by simply laughing.

Ezra looks confused, then a little indignant "What's so funny?" He demands. "It's rude to laugh like that, you know."

"Probably yes, it is Bridger," The clone trooper shrugs and rubs the back of his neck, "And I'm sorry – I really didn't mean to be a bantha's ass or anything, …it's just, well you're just not the first person I've listened to bitch about the indignities of atypical aging in the past few days. I guess that just found it a little funny, because usually, the complaints are coming from the opposite end of the spectrum."

"Huh?" Ezra looks completely baffled by the statement, which is good because it means Rex has managed to boot him out of his ongoing pity party. The Ghost crew seems to be having a run on those this week. So Rex puts his hands on his hips and tilts his head, and asks bluntly "Ezra do you have any idea how old I am?"

"Sixtyish?" The Padawan guesses. "Maybe a little younger. The white could be throwing off my estimations..."

Rex snorts aloud "I'm a little older than your master is, Kid. I just turned 33 years old. If you count my creche hatch date as a birthday."

Everyone in the room blinks at his dazedly for a moment."Clone Trooper." He says very slowly as if they'd all missed the memo or something. Then he shrugs, "People who don't know me well, or who forget how and why my Vod and I were originally made tend to forget as well that thanks to the way we were bred to mature rapidly in order to get us ready for the realities of combat, me and all my 'freed' brothers still get to experience the wonderful daily realities of constantly progressing rapid aging."

"I …I'm sorry." Ezra mutters shamefaced, after a moment, even as beside him the Kanan has gone very, very still all of a sudden, his forehead creased in deep thought. Well Karbast: Rex really hopes the Jedi Knight hadn't taken that as some kind of personal dig aimed at the Jedi order.

They hadn't created the Clones after all, not deliberately, just accepted the help of the troops that had literally been brought into existence to serve (and kill) them.

"You've got nothing to apologize for Vod'ika… I wasn't trying to belittle your frustration by bringing it up, just the opposite really. It's just, well the whole 'actual vs physical age dichotomy' you're talking about, I understand it far better than you probably think. I just never thought it I'd hear the same kind of sentiment come out of the mouth of someone so much younger than I am, or that us clones and any of our Brother Jedi would ever walk such a similar path essentially."

He reaches out and squeezes Ezra's shoulder affectionately, earning himself a shy little grin, "But I guess you could just say that now we really are cut from the same kind of cloth now, Ezra. Even if right now you literally got the shorter end of the stick than me."

Ezra actually giggles a little at that observation, though he looks surprised to be doing so. Then his whole body seems to deflate into depression. "Bedrest is boooooring." The boy all but whines. "My brain is literally atrophying every time I even think the word, Rex. I've lived through much worse than slipping on a puddle of water…Force, I was literally stabbed once and I still had to be up the next day to work or I wasn't going to be able to eat the rest of the week. So why in kark is it so unreasonable for me to want to sit on a blanket for a few days and pull fish out of the water while I'm recuperating? How is healing that way – in the sunshine and open air without having half the damn base staring every time I venture out - anymore inherently damaging or dangerous than climbing around in the vents to try and fend off the boredom?"

Hera blinks at that pronouncement, even as Kanan sigh heavily. "Ezra, you may want to look up the definition of 'bedrest,' again." Rex informs him dryly. "Because if that's your version of it then you're failing at the concept pretty badly." Kriff this kid is so much like Obi Wan in some ways it's ridiculous. He wishes he knew now with planet the older Jedi had hailed from, maybe it's a heritable trait and Obi Wan and Ezra were cousins or something.

"I don't do lying around and staring at the walls for any length of time, Rex." Ezra informs the older man more than a little bit grumpily, "Because sooner or later, they only end up staring right back or worse – they try to talk back in reply. Which doesn't strike me as particularly healthy."

"Ezra," Hera begins again, her tone frustrated. "You just sustained a serious concussion. You're nearly to dizzy to stand.

Kanan interrupts by laying a gentle hand on her arm and pivots to face the doctor, "You seriously don't have any concerns about it setting back his physical recovery if he goes out to the woods north of here with Rex and I, Dr Agel?"

The physician shakes her head. "So long as there's no major change between when I see him today and when I check in later tomorrow, no. Though you''ll have to make sure that he takes it very very easy activity wise and that you keep his wounds clean and covered. You know how to change his bandages and add spray on bacta as needed I presume?"

"If he doesn't I do," Rex interjects genially. "Anyone lieutenant level or above in the GAR got standard combat medic training during the end phase of the War, mostly as a common sense precaution. The only useless skills being the ones that you didn't have."

Kanan looks at Hera, "Dr Agel is right about one thing, Hera: it would definitely help Ezra to be somewhere less crowded for a couple of weeks if we're going to get any real work done in terms of repairing and then bolstering his shielding. Ezra and I's only two real viable choices in terms of that are either to go up north for awhile with Rex or get off the planet entirely. If that's your preference than maybe we could visit Lothal's outskirts for a month or so - take the phantom or something. But I figured you'd prefer we stuck closer to home."

"Kanan…" Hera's voice isn't forbidding, but it also clearly isn't happy, in the slightest, with the current conversation. "Couldn't all of this wait for a few more days? He's just gotten more than eighteen stitches. He can't stop tremoring…I really think that..."

"That's just the affect of the meds, Hera." Ezra interjects "And I don't really need to take them anymore. My headache's back to being just the normal kind now – and it'll pass on its own like they always do as long as Kanan keeps helping me with my shielding. This thing with Rex is important...not just for me and my shielding but for everyone just generally. It'll help increase the bases' selection of fresh protein sources, and I'll actually get to do something truly useful again, finally."

Hera sighs, "Is it really so unreasonable of me, Ezra, to point out that fishing, no matter how passive, is not sleeping, and a dirty riverbank is not a real bed? You just suffered significant brain trauma, and right now I'd just feel a whole lot better you here at home where someone can keep watch. Th first day or so post concussion what you really need to get the most is sleep."

Ezra considers this a moment silently, then bursts out, "Fine. Then how's this for a deal for you guys. I'll go to sleep literally right now – no fighting and no trying to get up at all except if I need to the bathroom." Ezra bargains, "If in exchange for me doing so without complaint, Rex, Kanan and I can go out to the lake sometime tomorrow late afternoon or evening instead..."

Hera frowns, but this time it's Kanan speaks up, turning his head so he can better hear Rex, "Would that still fit your timetable,Rex? If all three of us left tomorrow in the latter half of the evening? You'd still be able to accomplish everything on your itinerary?"

Rex nods, "That'll work easily enough, yes. Hell, we could even leave the following morning in an absolute pinch…though I admit I prefer to fly up there and make camp the night before, sleep in the bunks and then hit the lake just before dawn, since you tend to have the most luck around that time of the day with the fish, at least in my experience."

"In that case then let's make our agreement last one complete twenty-four-hour cycle. It's 12 pm or so now, right? Ezra tomorrow at say around 2 pm or later we'll have you checked over by Dr Agel -assuming she's free - to give us an all-clear essentially. To make sure you're stable and your scans have continued improving. And until then you'll be expected to spend the whole time in bunk -no complaints, no monkey business, and absolutely no vent crawling. You stay in your bunk, and you sleep or rest quietly if you want us to honor our part of the bargain. Agreed?"

The boy chews his lip. "And if I agree to this then you absolutely promise we leave for Up North before nightfall unless Dr Agel finds something new and forbids it directly?"

"Yes. If you agree and comply to the letter than tomorrow we'll all proceed up North just as we've planned. Well with a few reasonable restrictions of course, given your current circumstances."

"Those being?" Ezra asks, his eyes 200% locked on nothing and no one but Kanan.

Kanan shrugs, "Well you do have an open head wound, Kid, and until the Bacta finishes its work you're going to need to keep it clean so one: no swimming or running around in the rain and no spearfishing at all without my okay until the stitches have dissolved and the head wound is completely closed up." The Jedi hedges for a moment and then adds on three more conditionals, fairly impulsively. "Also - two you can only sleep at night on the ship and not outside at least initially, three: you don't go anywhere while we're there unsupervised without me, Rex or Chopper unless you've been asked and granted specific permission and four: if you're starting to look worn down than I'll expect that you'll go without protest if I tell you to go hit the bunks for an hour or two..."

"Done." Ezra replies. "Done done and done. Also done one final time...assuming I correctly counted all of the above."

Kanan apparently isn't finished, though, because he leans in just a little more closely. His expression is stern, serious, laying down the law now and no longer negotiating as he puts a hand on Ezra's shoulder and squeezes. "Understand me, Ezra, and know I'm dead serious when I tell you that we will turn right back around and come home instantly, the moment that Rex or I catch you violating any of the above stipulations, or if you start showing even the slightest hint of infection. Because I'm not playing games with your health. Are we clear?"

"We're clear. I'll be good Kanan. I promise." Then the boy makes a face, "Though knowing my luck lately I'm probably going to follow all that too the letter and still end up having to come home early because of some stupid infection."

"Uhm…about that. I was going to be giving you a course of oral antibiotics to take over the next ten days regardless." The doctor informs them all softly. "That gash was submerged in nonsterile water on the floor of the galley when he fell, after all, and considering the depth of the dent on the back of his skull it just seems like a reasonable precaution for us to take . I'll give him tablets to take tomorrow when he sees me - 2:45 2ould be fine with me, by the way for an appointment, and before I go today we can also hang a stronger broadspectrum antibiotic IV, just to be cautious since you've already got a port active from your other meds."

"And then we'll go fishing." Ezra echoes, confirming all that he apparently cares about in this entire bargain yet again. Rex had forgotten how hypserfocused someone could become in the midst of concussion.

"Yes Ezra," Kanan says with a bemused little huff. He glances over at Hera, who's still frowning, but nods back, nonethless. Rex is guessing from the look in her eyes that Kanan will be hearing more about this bargain of his and Ezra's once the two of them are in private, but she'd decided to cede to his and Ezra's wishes for the moment. "If you keep up your end of our deal, and if the doctor still gives the green light at your checkup tomorrow, then we'll leave base tomorrow a couple of hours before sunset and the following morning you, Rex and I –will hit the lake or the river and we'll go fishing."

Ezra smiles in response to that promise, weary but also clearly triumphant. "In that case guys, it's settled and sealed. Though I'm not going to bother kneeling on it this time around because, if I tried to do I'd probably fall on my ass. Still, - I'll see you all later cause I'm now doing exactly as I promised..."

Then finally blue eyes slide shut and literally twenty seconds later, Ezra Bridger asleep, the blankets covering him falling and rising with every lift of his small chest.

Rex feels himself chuckle again. Dr Agel gawks at the scene before her for moment, that shakes her head and whispers, chuckling. "Did he really just...?"

"Yes. He did." Kanan answers. "What can I say. He was finally found sufficient motivation to stop fighting unconsciousness."

"Unbelievable." Hera mutters under her breath, as the doctor smirks and shakes he head, then moves to drop the head of the exam table down to a more reclined position. "We've only been telling him for the last forty minutes that he should rest now. But now, he holds out for no reason I can think of…other than to be stubborn."

"Actually," Kanan rubs his forehead wearily, "My personal guess is that he was hoping he'd manage to stay awake through at least one actual visit from Sabine. He wanted her to know he's all right after how upset she got about everything that happened in the kitchen."

"Well, either that or he's the exact kind of stubborn that decided he was going to refuse to yield until he wore us all down concerning the fishing trip," Hera murmurs, rolling her eyes heavenward. "Which he finally did."

Rex snorts, "Vod'ika appears to drive a hard bargain - even when concussed."

"Indeed he does. Is he always this …well… persistent?"

The word you are looking for is stubborn." Hera informs her with a small sigh. "And the answer is yes."

"Actually, he's usually far worse than we just saw when he's operating on all gears. He's just more subtle about it." The Jedi Knight informs Agel dryly, gently straightening his Padawan's legs out into a more natural sleeping position to assure he doesn't wake him up before recovering him with the blankets and putting the rail guards up on the bed. "I have learned over the past four years how and when to pick my battles regarding some things, so that when I need to win most urgently I do quickly.."

"An astute battle tactic." Rex intones with a twinkle in his eyes.

Hera snorts, "What Kanan means is that he spoils him. Not often maybe, but Sabine's at least right about that. You can be a real pushover about some things."

The older Jedi merely shrugs, raising an eyebrow in the Twi'lek's direction. "If that's the way you want to look at it Captain, then go ahead. I see it a bit different at present - more like I'm tipping back the scales for him that have recently leaned so far out of balance by everything he's been forced to adjust to that he's practically hanging off of his weigh pan by his fingertips. As was more than adequately demonstrated by the vomiting in the kitchen." HEr frowns at that, even more, opens her mouth but then closes it, apparently lacking sufficient rebuttal. Kanan shrugs again, his lips quirking. "And even if I'm wrong, Hera, or as you and Sabine insista going too easy on him initially, well by the looks of things I'm going to be the one dealing with the consequences of that decision most of the time, since I seem to be Ezra's primary caregiver at present. The rest of you have had other priorities and responsibilities that take precedence. "

The Doctor shakes her shakes her head bemused . "You know, the two of you remind me a lot of my husband and I. We were always sniping back and forth when he was younger about the way his dad handled out youngest at the time, Tim. He was a real firecracker too reminds me a lot of Ezra truthfully...smart as a whip, and a bargain maker. Could talk his way into our out of almost anything, or so it used to seem," She gestures to the boy asleep on the table. "He used to drive me absolutely barmy until he hit late adolescence and I stopped worrying so much about how easily he could get hurt, but that didn't stop him from growing up into a responsible, dedicated ma- as well as a talented pilot. He was a member of gold squadron. Their second in command I beleive. He..he died during the escape from Atollon." Agel's smile is wry, her eyes a little wet, as she looks up at them "He got himself blown to bits along with Sato's people during the evac, but they cleared the way for a bunch of other people to survive thanks to their bravery. Gods were his Dad and I proud. Though also, does it pain us some days how much we miss him." The older woman wipes at her eyes with the back of her hands then smiles again, this time more genuinely. "Ah well. The price of freedom I guess. I'm just saying: keep sniping if you have to you guys, but also try and enjoy the wild ride ahead as much as you possibly can, because you're going to have an interesting next decade or so ahead, unless your alien friends come up with some miraculous way to fix this mess. And truthfully, I'll envy you both even if that does happen."

That seems to refocus both Kanan and Hera, as it was no doubt intended to. "We're still hope for a cure," Hera murmurs, reaching out to stroke her own hand across Ezra's forehead "For Ezra' sake. He's lost so much already...and it's clear he really isn't enjoying this."

"But even he stays like this indefinitely then I'll still take him as he is- be it seventeen or seven." Kanan interjects his voice oddly tight and choked up, "Ezra just being alive at all is a miracle at the moment as far as I'm concerned. I'm not jinxing it by getting greedy and demanding anythin more than that." Kanan reaches out a hand then, offering a shake to the doctor. "Thank you for everything you're done for him today, Dr Agel. And thank you for your openness in sharing your own experiences concern your son. I grive with you in your loss, and appreciate both your wisdom and perspective, just like I know they're probably missing your wisdom back at the clinic. I don't want to abuse your kindness if you need to start heading back."

"Pah. It's not a problem, Kanan, I assure you. House calls are just part of the service around here some days. We were actually having a slow morning anyway." The dark-haired woman looks down at the boy on the bed for another moment or so, then turns to her med kit and pulls out a smaller IV infusion bag - likely the aforementioned antibiotics, and starts connecting it to his IV Tubbing before pulling out a scanner again. "I'm glad you sent for me as quickly as you did – head injuries in children are never something to be taken lightly because their skils aren't as solid yet, and the brains are growing fast - something I have no doubt is doubly true when you're dealing with telepaths or empaths." His scanner beeps and she looks down at it with a small frown then sighs and roots around in her bag for a blood collection kit. "Still, to be honest, JArrus, I am probably more concerned about some of the hormone and neurochemical levels his blood tests are indicating then I really am about his concussion. Probably because I have so much less personal knowledge or reference materials to help me know how to properly treat psychic shock as opposed to concussion. May I ask you a couple of quick questions, just to make sure I've covered my bases thoroughly enough on the subject?"

Kanan shrugs, "Of course you can ask. I can't promise that I'll be all that helpful answering, though. My own education on the subject is unfortunately extremely limited. Advanced biology and Jedi Healing were taught in the temple not out in the field for the most part. I had some basic readings on the subject of course, and some training from our company's medic in the GAR when he had the time, but the reality is that what little I do know about psychic injuries was that they always mandated rest and variety of different types of neuro inhibitors like the one you first gave Ezra when you got here to help lessen his pain - after which it was recommended that the patient was be transferred back to Coruscant for care there by better qualified mind healers." His face twists up in frustration, "Neither of us have access to the knowledge or healing techniques they did, other than my ability to enter a basic healing trance. Something I intend to teach Ezra as well over the weekend. Well okay not teach so much as review with him." "So you're saying there's nothing else we can do at present but keep him out of pain and let him heal at his own pace?" "As far as I know? No. That's how I've had to heal myself in similar situations. Though the good news is I don;t really think the damage to be repaired is all that extensive. Ezra's walls haven't been functioning as well as they ought to for a while now, true but the good news is they were only completely down for a matter of seconds before I was able to intercede earlier this morning, so any psychic bruising should be minimal and heal without much need for further assistance. With any luck at all, Ezra's headache may not even be present anymore by the time he wakes up, muchless by the time you see him again tomorrow. I', certainly hoping that's the case."

I do as well. But i'm also leaving another single dose of the pain cocktail behind for you to have on hand if he needs it all right? I'll give it to Hera and he can have it starting 4 hours from present."

"Thank you. Now is there anything else you wanted to know before Sabine or Zeb help you walk your equipment back...?"

The doctor frowns looking down at Ezra again, "Just one thing. Jarrus, I really don't mean to be impertinent or repetitive asking this. This is all just so new to me as a physician and I 'm the type who wants to understand..."

"Which I value. Just ask your question, Aliyah. I won't be offended, I promise."

"All right, I know that you said earlier that Ezra's shields most likely collapsed the way they did because of his concussion. I'll even concede that such occurrences are documented in what few psychically aimed medical references I was lucky enough to have currently on file, but it still took more than double the normal initial dosing of Nylol for someone in his weight range in order to bring his neurochemical levels back to their age-appropriate ranges, and I'm trying to understand why they were that out of whack after such a short period and low level of actual trauma. I remember reading awhile back during my years in med school that a psychics shields are more vulnerable to failure they're already healing from a previous psychic trauma of some sort or another, so I was wondering...Has Bridger recently experienced any other significant psychic events that could account for his brain's level of over-reactivity. I mean he has markedly heightened levels of both cortisol and adrenaline but it looks like that may be an ongoing problem not a new on and I'm just trying to make sure that neither of us are missing something more obvious like thyroid or pituitary problems that I should be checking for with more blood tests."

Kanan snorts dryly at that. "You mean have Ezra or I experienced anything more mentally or physically stressful over the past month or so than the complete shattering and abrupt reformation of our training link the day he died? No, we haven't. But yes, that would more than account for the stress your tests are indicating he...we...have both been under." He sighs as he senses the shock in the older woman's expression. "I'm sorry if that came across as sarcastic...I appreciate your thoroughness I really do. It's just...hard, at times, to adequately vocalize some experiences to non Jedi who've never experience them."

"You and Bridger's bond was *broken?*"

"For a few minutes yes. It remade itself as soon as he was healed enough to regain any level of consciousness."

"I see..." The doctor's next question is hesistant. "And you and the boy are *both* recovering from that in the normal ways I assume?"

"Yes, as much as there is any kind of precedent. It'll take some time, of course, before things settle down completely."

And until then?"

Kanan shrugs, his voice dispassionate, or at least as close to it as Rex imagines he can currently manage. "Until then, Dr Agel, there'll be occasional headaches and nightmares for both of us, as well as the occasional minor emotional meltdown or panic attack, which is probably why I'm prone, right now, as Hera put it, to go easy or be a little more lenient than normal. At least until Ezra in particular's feeling a little less fragile emotionally speaking."

Hera slowly lowers her coffee cup from her lips, her gaze on her lover's face suddenly both much more shocked and much intense. Rex barely hides a little wince, because yeah judging by the rapidly shifting emotions on Hera's face, Kanan's lover had probably only known at perhaps a third of that. Either because of miscommunication or because as Kanan had hinted at this early this morning, the Twi'lek had been working so much lately she hasn't been around enough to fully become aware of it..

Still, Rex thinks, looking first at the boy asleep on the table, then at Kanan himself, who's never been more than just a few yards away from his Padawan if he can possibly help it since he and rex both returned to the Ghost this morning, that new little tidbit of information clarifies a hell of a lot of previously unconnected strange things that he has noted about Kanan and Ezra but not been able to string together into a coherent picture or conclusion until Kanan acknowledged that there'd recently been a temporary break of their training link. That one additional details places literally everything else in context.

Padawan-Master relationships by nature are incredibly close. They involve tremendous amounts of both slowly built trust and mutual sacrifice and suffering. And in the presence or wake of illness, danger or threat, any clone trooper worth their salt quickly learned to work around the fact that any two Jedi with a training or pair bond active between them had a tendency to be both interdependent and deeply, protective of eachother, with the majority of a Masters 'crazy side' becoming most evident when their younger charge was or had been injured, harmed or threatened.

Jedi 'family relationships' on a good day were complex and exhausting to see, much less navigate, and Jedi with recently damaged or mending pair bonds were…

'Well BANTHASHIT' summed it up that particular situation pretty nicely. It also explained Sabine's comment before she'd left him right outside the door of Medbay about how she seemed to be, unusually, being treated like a threat by Kanan at present, who was having a hyper protective reaction to her slightly higher than usual amounts of snarking.

From what he'd just shared, Kanan and Ezra's link had been broken and reformed less than two weeks ago with no warning and now real treatment for it after, and unless Rex doesn;t misjudge the situation, that aftermath has left both Kanan and Ezra wobbling dangerously on their feet. Both Master and Padawan are no doubt still struggling as a result to find their personal balance.

This kind of situation, regretfully isn't covered in revision five of the sarcastically nicknamed GAR memo, 'So now you have your own Master and Padawan : A soldier's guide to guarding their GEnerals/Commanders.' Which Rex damn well knows because he and Cody essentially COAUTHORED versions 2-5 of the damn thing. The closest practical comparison he can think of is probably when Anakin and Asohka had watched Obi Wan 'die' before accepting an undercover mission. And hadn't that just been the ultimate nightmare situation.

What he does know right now is pretty simple really – Ezra has clear psychic damage, has been de-aged against his will and desperately wants to run the kriff away from his current life and go just go fishing rather than deal with any of the above. While Kanan? Kanan is so relieved the kid is alive he is more than willing in the short term at least, to let him.

Because it's not like the older Jedi is any less in need of the time away from himself, from what Rex is guessing, whether he's aware of it or not. This little excursion, for lack of a better way of putting it, is both Kanan getting the hell out of Dodge for awhile and circling up the wagons while they both catch their breath. While Ezra comes to terms with his new body and Kanan comes to terms with what happened just generally.

If he can 'come to terms with it' Rex means.

And that? Seems like a pretty high order. How in kriff does someone adjust to feeling someone you love die literally in your mind and then just go on afterward without completely losing your composure eventually? Muchless adjust to it happening twice – even if the later time the death you share only ended up being temporary?

Rex doesn't know. Neither does Hera. And neither does Kanan Jarrus, from what Rex can see. The Jedi Knight is, per his reputation and norm, just basically punting. Taking one day at a time as making it up as he goes along. But that tactic isn't going to work - at least not indefinitely.

Kanan and Ezra are both going to hit a wall soon, and hard. Just like Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker had all those years ago when both men had gone from being literally the greatest heroes in the GAR to being two human sacrifices who gave and gave and gave over until they literally bled themselves near dry. Until they fell for lack of knowing when or how to stop essentially.

Like kriff will Rex sit back the next two weeks and watch the same thing start happening in miniature to Kanan and Ezra. Not when he has the time, the will and best of all, in this case, previous traumatized Jedi wrangling experience. This fishing trip of theirs, intentionally or not has just become Rex's working vacation. His primary objective has just been switched from site scouting and protein access, to emergency Jedi post-trauma repair, analysis, and maintenance. It is time, in short for Rex to buckle the kark back up and start earning his (admittedly utterly fictional now) princely Clone Trooper salary again.

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	3. Kanan 2

"If you have something to say Hera, don't just stand there. Just go ahead and say it." Kanan can literally feel Hera's eyes drilling into the back of his head even as he packs several pairs of clothing from the drawers underneath his bunk into a bag, methodically finishing up the last of his pre-trip chores for the evening.

Hera's voice in hesitant. "I'm not sure honestly, Kanan, where to even start at the moment."

"The beginning is a pretty good place, Hera, generally."

"Maybe so, Love. When I know where that technically is. At the moment though," The Twi'lek shrugs her shoulders, "I kind of feel a little bit like some sort of Rip Van Winkle, Kanan."

That admission earns Hera a very soft laugh – wry, dark, not particularly all that amused, but also not exactly sarcastic or angry or confrontational either. Because honestly Kanan's just too damn weary for words – muchless to deliberately court unneeded confrontation. "We haven't changed all that much Hera, since we got back to Yavin, no matter what you probably think… Ezra's just a little shorter right now and on some topics, so is my temper."  
Hera snorts at that, soft and a little wry, though also unpinned with a thick coat of newly uncovered personal empathy. "Believe me, Love, both Sabine and I are more than aware at the moment."

Kanan sighs aloud at that acknowledgement. "Don't worry about it Hera. I promise you that I will clear the air with Sabine before I go – though some part of me really does think that there ought to be some kind of actual consequences outside of her just getting yelled at considering what her carelessness actually catalyzed today. She definitely knows better, and Ezra paid for it, but I'm also aware enough now to grasp that I did let things get out of hand in the midst the everything Ezra and I are coping with after everything that happened."

"That's actually what I want to talk about myself Kanan." Hera steps closer, a hand reaching out to grasp Kanan's upper arm and tug him upright from the floor, albeit gently.

"I'm not done here, Hera," He protests.

"Yes. You are Kanan. For the moment at least." His lover informs him a little sternly. "You and I are both going back to my room to lie down together for a bit – to talk a bit yes, but more so just because I want to hold you for a little while, frankly."

"Hera," He protests again, "I still have stuff that needs to be…"

"Uh uh. This is not a suggestion right now Kanan. I know I've been busy – and probably more so than I really needed to be over the past week of so, as I tried to sort through some of the banthashit currently stinking up the inside of my own head. But quite obviously I'm not the only one who's been struggling with everything recently. If you needed more help or comfort than you were getting love, you kriffing well should have told me. Especially if you're dealing right now with all the stuff you just explained to Dr Agel but never even as much as hinted at to me."

"You've had other important obligations too Hera." He answers her simply – well aware of both his communicative limitations in matters psi-related as well as Hera's general hierarchy of priorities. Unless things are life or death or mission related, he's the one who always runs point when it comes to, as he puts it once, dealing with small-fire issues concerning the kids. It's not that Hera doesn't care about all of them mind you – Kanan knows karking well that she does, its just that she's also got far more non-specter related commitments than he does, thanks to her role as a rebellion squadron commander, which means most of what Hera ends up knowing or doing where Sabine or Ezra or concerned is usually less proactively than it is in retrospect.

And honestly? Most of the time Kanan is pretty much okay with that arrangement. It works for them– for the most part anyway, if okay some days he does find it frustrating because it almost always eventually leads up to this precise kind of post-crisis, usually wall-hitting conversation.

Because Kanan tries – he really, truly does, to keep her up to date on things. To let Hera know as soon as possible if anything has happened that's particularly unusual or important and therefore requires more of her actual attention. But sometimes if he's honest? He feels as if when he tries to do just that, he and Hera are speaking two separate languages. Because inevitably when Kanan's at his weariest, the two of them have very different grasps on the obvious.

Case in point – he's about to dragged to Hera's room right now, and essentially offered the chance for a comfort- snuggle if he wants it. (Which yes, generally he does.) Because judging by his lover's reaction to his earlier words while they'd been in Medlab, Hera'd been truly blindsided by the details of the day to day reality that Kanan had been describing for the doctor, even though he'd honestly thought that when he and Ezra's link had broken and reforged on the day Ezra fell in that cave Kanan had thought he'd been very clear about explaining what was happening – what exactly had caused his atypical if completely unconcealed initial wild swing of both negative and positive emotions.

Only Hera hadn't understood him – or had assumed the effect of what had happened was only minor and temporary – something he'd apparently shrugged off in only a day or so, and now when she finally realized otherwise she's apparently decided he's entitled to some extra hovering and TLC as a result. Never mind he's had to find a mostly solo way a coping in the interim.

A mental and emotional way of dealing that's actually harder to switch off that simply continue to lean on in the here and now moment.

And yeah, maybe it's partly Kanan's fault that Hera didn't know before now how much stress he's still been under – he's pretty much awful even on his best days about talking all that much about his less pleasant feelings, and there is little in the Galaxy that he wants to talk about less than what had happened when Ezra died at the moment. Not when the subject involves explanations of things he pretty much lacks adequate language for from a technical perspective on top of the fact that it leaves him feeling so raw and vulnerable and Force damned near to helpless.

Hera though, isn't going to be content to let things be. Especially with him and Ezra leaving with Rex tomorrow afternoon– she isn't happy about their little vacation just in general – especially not after what Kanan's just acknowledged, though he also guesses she isn't going to try and fight him any further on the subject after everything he's just admitted to being actively struggling with. But she also isn't going to want to let him and Ezra hare off up north after everything she's just learned without wanting to clear the air first and do some level of one to one check in with Kanan at least.

Which would be fine. Really it would. If Kanan had any real idea himself how he feels about most of this in the broader perspective. The truth of the matter though is, right he's just locked in a giant holding pattern basically. One defined by worry for Ezra, lingering soul deep exhaustion and ongoing if brief moments of personal revelation about his current life that he just wishes would damn well STOP truthfully.

He hasn't been sleeping well the last two weeks. His personal meditation's also been going poorly. Not because he's avoiding stuff …at least deliberately anyway. More like because his life in general has just been more than a little overwhelming, to the degree that it has all been wearing Kanan down to literally his last nerve to speak frankly. Especially the ongoing situation with Sabine.

Because yes, Kanan understands logically at least why the Mandalorian has been acting the way that she has. He knows she's guilty and angry and more than a little bit terrified that alive or not what's happened to Ezra has essentially permanently cost her the 'life' of her unacknowledged best friend.

She's essentially missing the obvious thanks to her currently blinding grief.

Because Sabine and Zeb and Hera aren't Kanan – they've got working eyes but not Ezra and Kanan's psychic connection to help them, so they don't really grasp yet how little Ezra actually has changed despite everything that's occurred. At least not in the kids' overall nature anyway.

All they see now is the changes in Ezra's physical condition, as well as the hopefully temporary changes in his behavior that have been caused by the changes in his hormones and shielding.

And they're all still clearly in denial about the likely permanence of the whole situation basically.

Because really? Everyone but Kanan himself - and probably Ezra - who seems about as resigned as Kanan is to the long haul ahead for no other reason but plain old cynicism as far as Kanan can tell - are still looking at their current circumstances right now and for the most part labeling Ezra's current situation as 'inconvenient' and 'hopefully temporary.' They assume that any steps the Ash'taan'aleki may come up with to help re-age Ezra will automatically be safe, fast and easy.

They don't really grasp the sheer level of damage Ezra's fall had caused to his body. Or the level of effort that had gone into the Ash-taan-aleki restoring it as they had to literally any kind of reasonably whole and healthy state. "We have repaired what we can of your child, Sir Knight, in thanks for his courage and bravery. But we could not, we confess, heal all his wounds in entirety. Some brokenness is soul deep. Instead we offer an opportunity for the broken parts of this child of light to grow upright anew."

That was what the lead healer of the group of Aliens - who had appeared before them with the newly healed Ezra - had projected, whisper soft into the depths of Kanan's head as she laid him in his arms. "He is altered, but also what he's always been."

Hera had asked their hosts, naturally, once she'd actually found her voice out of the quagmire of shock that had encapsulated all of them, if there wasn't a way for them to re-age Ezra in the same way that they'd apparently de-aged him as part of the healing process… and she'd been more than a little befuddled when she'd been informed that though their hosts might change their views on the subject after a few more months had passed, and Ezra had had time to strengthen, at present they simply didn't consider that an either safe or particularly wise option, especially since as they'd put it, his MIND as it had been before the fall was completely intact.

They'd also seemed confused to a degree, unless Kanan misses his guess, by Hera's need to ask the question at all - but then again the non-humanoid beings had all been strongly telepathic, and Kanan strongly suspects that the group of them hadn't been fully able to comprehend why Hera…who didn't perceive the world in all the same ways that Kanan and they did, how little Ezra had actually changed in any truly meaningful aspect.

After all, whether eighteen years old or seven, Ezra was still as strong in the force as he'd been before, still as bright of a beacon, still as tasty a potential target for manipulators. Still as large a bundle of only partially met need and unresolved expectation. He's still just as desperately in need of both company and guidance, protection as he always has been.

Ezra hasn't changed that much since he fell. At least not fundamentally. It's just that now he looks as in need of sheltering as he actually is. At age seven Ezra clearly appears as vulnerable and in need of long term nurturing as he's always been truthfully. It's just not *hidden* so effortlessly behind an eighteen year old's body or his usual shy half smirk anymore…

Ezra hasn't changed…well except a little bit in body. But Hera doesn't seem to grasp that….Instead his lover is currently just fighting in order to push through and endure this 'minor hiccup' as she'd called it once – to somehow outlast the reality of them having not two largely self-supportive teenagers any longer, but one teenager and one needy, tiny hurting, terrified little kid.

A kid who isn't actually going anywhere at all anytime soon no matter what Hera thinks, at least not unless Kanan completely misses his guess. And right now Kanan literally has no idea at all as to how to explain that reality to Hera in a way that will get or keep her attention. Or how, if he can manage to do so eventually get that message across Hera will then comes to terms with the truth and how it's potentially going to change everything for all of them.

Because Hera Syndulla never signed on for a seven-year-old. Taking on Ezra if they'd encountered him at that age back on Lothal would have been an entirely different ballgame then what had actually happened when they first met him…Kanan's not naive to that fact.

After all a tiny seven-year-old Ezra, both he and Hera would have doubtless tried their best to convince themselves, would have deserved – would have needed something much closer to a normal sort of life than the nomadic one that they could offer aboard The Ghost. A life without so much danger and preferably with a normal home life and maybe a legally adoptive set of parents.

A fourteen-year-old street rat after all could look at a life with a bunch of nomadic rebellion thieves and essentially see it as an upswing from his previous reality of life on the street. But turning a seven-year-old into part of the same kind of lifestyle would definitely not have been the same thing.

It isn't the same thing now either, truthfully speaking.

After all, Ezra may not be mentally seven – anything but – but whether or not the former teenager has come to grips with it or not yet himself (and probably not – Kanan's guessing given how generally unpanicked and un-angry Ezra has generally been about this so far) the Kid just plain isn't in the position he had been a month or so ago. Ezra's recent physical change have booted him out of far more than just a Phoenix Squadron cockpit.

Because yeah, maybe the kid can still learn to fight as well in a x wing as he'd done before all of this happened– and maybe he could quickly adapt to defending himself with a lightsaber at the same skill level level as he had before he fell with some additional drilling and after that was all done maybe he could keep right on fighting with the same level of commitment to the the Rebel resistance. But only if Hera and Kanan and Sabine and Zeb– and the rest of the rebellion as a whole for that matter – were actually willing to simply look away and *let him.*

And the truth is, a part of Kanan is absolutely terrified right now to discover just how the Rebellion might actually respond to such a desire from his Padawan truthfully speaking.

Would most of Rebel Command outright refuse on basic principle if Ezra tries to go on as if nothing has changed – which would grate on Ezra terribly and likely drive him into a deep if temporary depression that Kanan would no doubt have to drag him back out of. Or would they basically tell themselves. 'Yeah the kid is seven but he's a JEDI. There's a war on. Sometimes you have to make some uneasy exceptions.'

Because Kanan…?

Kanan honestly can't decide how he'd respond to that banthakriff if it happened.

Other than badly. Epic-ally, world alteringly badly.

Because Kanan's young yeah but he's not stupid, nor is he ignorant of history. The Jedi order had been wiped out the first time around in large part because its own members had allowed themselves – as well as their karking CHILDREN to be essentially turned into weapons by the Republic. Even though at the time it had been more than a little uneasy.

And Kanan honestly doesn't know – doesn't want to know what he'd have to think or to become, if he ever had to stare down that kind of undeniable proof that the rebellion as a whole would willingly do the same thing to Ezra as well in the name of convenience. Kanan thinks – he hopes to hell rather, that it would never come down to that. But the problem is that he really isn't *certain.*

Which raises some kriffing uncomfortable questions for him, if Kanan's absolutely honest with himself, about the life he's consented to him and his Padawan living up until now.

Because like it or not, whether Ezra stays seven years old or not – the past few weeks have changed practically everything for both better and worse. Because now Kanan's seeing things now he has no real method of unseeing anymore. Things that are going to to have long term consequences for all of them, whether Kanan wants them to or not. Because really how big of a hypocrite is Kanan really prepared to be in the end?

If everything he'd used to describe Ezra above in terms of nature is virtually unchanged despite his relative age or size – if the unfairness of Ezra being made into a literal child of war at age seven is just as much about his emotional state as his physical limitations…then really what the kark has Kanan been doing up until now but seeing the same damn kid used as a tool for years while turning a blind eye to that reality because he didn't know how to actually face up to it?

What the Force is Kanan supposed to do now? Because he's seriously starting to think that he's either in the middle of a major philosophical crisis or he's blowing literally everything in his life out of proportion as a result of everything that's recently happened.

And he honestly doesn't know at the moment if he's hit the height of irrationality or finally come to his damn senses.

Which leads him to a place that he doesn't know where to be. In this moment and this time. Standing outside the door to Hera's room. Then putting his boots by the entryway and at last his body laying beside hers on the bed. Frozen in a way that almost defies real explanation.

Historically– when Kanan hits this particular kind of wall of doubt in his life he copes by doing one of three things.

He drinks, he talks to Hera or he meditates. Sometimes he does all three in combination.

But Hera – at least indirectly is part of the problem at the moment.

Because her allegiances…her end goals, her commitments to a life with the rebellion have never been a secret to Kanan. They have never even for a second been in any kind of question. And up until recent? Kanan's always basically been okay for the most part with living with that.

Because yeah they've had their issues…but there's always been room for compromise though. There's always been enough space to make room for the good and needs of all of them. There may not be anymore, though, if Ezra stays this small – especially if any significant portion of the rebellion as a whole shows that it has no qualms at all with still continuing to try and use him as their tool or their weapon regardless of his personal circumstances. Which is something that Kanan can not and *will not* allow to happen.

Kanan's pretty sure if he's not paranoid and even half justified in his fears that he and Hera are going to hit a serious impass as to their current personal commitments very very soon, and frankly the idea is kriffing terrifying. Because yes Kanan loves Hera – more than he has words for really – she has been the cornerstone of his life for literal years and years now. But his commitments to her as a lover and best friend have never really come into this kind of potential conflict before...not with the additional responsibilities that Kanan's shouldered as both a Master and a parent. He'd simply never imagined being in this kind of potentially catch-22.

Because Ezra? Is seven. And small, and whether he admits it or not literally terrified by his current circumstances. The kid can't possibly not be - he simply can't. Not with his previous history of repeated rejection and abandonment. Not after what had happened to him the last time around that Ezra was this age especially.

Because no – Kanan hasn't missed that irony – though he's pretty sure at this point that the rest of the Ghost crew hasn't really registered the reality. Ezra had basically glossed it over earlier at breakfast but Kanan hadn't for even a second failed to overlook the truth that the last time he'd been this small, the last time he'd been this vulnerable? The Kid's life had literally collapsed when his parents were arrested suddenly. Every bit of security and innocence and safety he'd had up to that point in his life had been all but instantly been violently ripped away from him.

And now? Subconsciously or not, Kanan's pretty sure that at least some portion of Ezra is all but curled in on himself, waiting for it to happen again. Tomorrow for certain, if not maybe today.

Not that it's going to happen, mind you, if Kanan has any power at all to prevent it of course. Because the kid has another think coming if he truly believes that anything short of death is going to ever cut his existent ties with Kanan at this point. Yeah the older Jedi may have taken a while to commit – he'll be the first to one admit it – even a bit ashamedly, but once Kanan's in, Kanan's karking force-damned in.

Karabast, the kid is going to be 120 with dozens Grandkids on his hands and still probably trying to run away from Force Ghost him.

'Be careful what you wish for Kid,' Kanan thinks more than a little bit wryly, 'because the universe is an ironic karking bitch sometimes, and just when you least expect to, you might actually get it at levels and for durations you hadn't quite anticipated.'

Kanan had known from the start – which is is probably a large part of why he waffled as long as he did about taking on Ezra as crew, that once some elements once they meet and interact, can't ever entirely be separated again. And Zeb, as much as Kanan still half winces every single kriffing time the Lasat makes a reference to parent-child bonding, had been absolutely right.

Kanan Jarrus has a Padawan, sure. But more importantly than that? He's essentially got a son.

Which yes, as it turns out is an entirely different sort of commitment. Because while Kanan Jarrus the Master can and will eventually let go with pride when Ezra Bridger is ready to be out and on his own, Kanan Jarrus the parent watched his kid fall to his death over two weeks ago. And yeah he's pretty much ready afterwards to KRIFF any sort of claims to true non-attachment.

Apparently that level of Jedi discipline is simply beyond Kanan at this point in his life, but also ironically he's pretty sure at this point he's more than content to live with the fact. Because if he's not the typical Jedi…well than he's never had the typical student either has he? And perfect adherence to all the Jedi tenets doesn't actually serve either Ezra or him at this point in their lives. Theory after all tends to buckle under the pressure of reality because it's meant to, Kanan figures. You only know what supports will hold in the end when you actually have to test them.

Kanan Jarrus is Jedi, yes, but he's also a parent. And no as it turns out, despite everything he'd ever heard in his childhood in the temple, the two things don't appear to have to be mutually exclusive.

Now to just figure out how to help Ezra come to grips with the same thing. To make sure he realizes that no matter what else has changed in his life recently, some things aren't going to. Ever. Not if Kanan has any say in it anyway.

Ezra Bridger isn't an orphan anymore. He hasn't been for awhile now truthfully speaking. And Force bless the road he never will be again.

That's the one – the only real promise at this point about their future that Kanan is prepared to make. Everything else, well, is pretty much a giant question mark at the end of a whole list of questions that Kanan's frankly terrified to even think about at the moment Muchless talk about.

But he'll do it anyway. Not because he wants to– because he has to. Because his duty and his love both require at that much courage at least from him at present.

And really? There's no time for starting that particular ball rolling like right now.

He draws in a deep breath, reaches out to take Hera's hand, where its resting on his chest from how she's wrapped her arms around him, her quiet body pressed up against his back from behind, her nose pressed into his neck, the only sound she's made since they laid down together the quiet of the room the slow in and exhalation of her breath.

"So…Hera." He begins, in a voice he tries to pretend isn't just inches from actually breaking," Before Ezra and I head up north with Rex. I know you probably have a couple of questions. But I…." He swallows hard twice around the lump in his throat. "I also need to talk to you about a couple of thing that are…well pretty important frankly speaking."

She kisses his shoulder softly. "All right Love, I'm here and I'm listening."

Audiofic of Chapter 5 & 6 is here

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	4. Kanan 2 (And Hera!) cont

Nodding at that, Kanan draws in a deep shaky breath and at least attempts to begin.

"Ezra's not going anywhere, Hera for the time being at least."

His lover snorts at that softly. "Other than up north with you and Rex to go fishing, you mean?"

Hera doesn't understand. Kanan sighs very deeply, and then he tries again, searching for the words to make things clearer.

"That's not actually what I'm getting at, Hera. I mean don't expect he's going to be able re-age up anytime soon – even when and if we do return to the planet to see the Ash'taan'aleki again. Not via any safe kind of method anyway." Kanan exhales very raggedly. "Hera, I…Look I'm not even sure he's still in his original body right now. I'm pretty sure they just made him the equivalent of a new one. Because I'm almost positive they did have that level of technology. They didn't de-age him just at random to fix him, Hera. They couldn't fix everything that had been broken in him when he fell – as their leader put it to me some 'wounds are deeper than mere flesh.'"

"So you're saying what then? That they essentially captured the equivalent of his soul when he…when he fell?"

"When he died, Hera."

The Twi'lek behind him shudders, but Kanan makes himself say the words aloud again. "Because he was dead, Hera. I felt it happen down the link. Even if his time that way was temporary. But his body was…it was basically too wrecked to repair in any meaningful sense of the word, or at least that's what I assume. So instead of even trying and leaving him permanently disabled I think that they used what was left to provide his soul a healthier alternative to connect to."

"They…they cloned him?!" Hera's voice is somewhere between horrified and sheerly wondering. "Without either his or our permission?"

"I don't know about the former but yes Hera, I think that they did pretty much just that, though they certainly didn't ask me how we felt about the process from an ethical standpoint. Not that we can tell for certain since I'm assuming Ezra didn't exactly have many distinguishing scars at seven. Those came later, as he kept on aging."

"Though Hera," Kanan shifts a little on the mattress. "I wouldn't try and climb onto any kind of high ethical horse about the subject if I were you when we go back: they're an ancient, advanced and highly, highly telepathic species…and frankly I don't think they necessarily have the same views on what makes a person 'themselves' as you or I or even Ezra do. Life is all about the state of spirit and perhaps the mind and the memories for them…so giving Ezra new flesh so long as his soul and experiences came along for the ride…"

Kanan shrugs his shoulders, "That's probably acceptable in their view. I mean he's still in his body after a fashion. Not stealing it from anyone else. But I'm also guessing that advanced or not there are still functional physical limitations to cloning accompanied by rapid aging that can be done to someone without it causing major serious consequences. All though again, if I am right…and I'm mostly playing on a hunch," He reaches up to rub his forehead tiredly. "Rex or some of his other Vod would probably know a Force Damned lot more about this subject than I do."

"Is…is there anyway at all, you can think of that we could be certain, Kanan? If he's in a cloned body or not I mean?"

"Uhmmm…maybe? Theoretically at least there's always the chance we could get some old samples of his DNA and test them against his current for comparison while looking for differences. But frankly Hera," Kanan shrugs, "I don't know if it would benefit anyone to actually do so. I mean I can't say for sure if Ezra knows what I suspect – we haven't exactly talked about it I mean, in large part because he's already overwhelmed enough by the situations. Not to even mention cloning's illegal now – albeit the Ash'taan'aleki aren't exactly members of the Empire or the Former Republic …But even if it's true Ezra's…." He pauses, tries to put his thoughts into coherent sentences.

"Look by every measure I can possibly use in my view Ezra's still entirely himself, Hera. He's smaller yeah and still trying to adapt to the limits of his new body – which has different hormones and vulnerabilities yes thanks to his smaller size and the way any Force sensitive ages but, his soul, Hera – his basic personality, everything he's experienced and how it's made him the person he is, all his needs and wants weaknesses- they're all still exactly the same. This may sound ridiculous to hear, Hera – and yes I know that the fact I 'see' things differently than the rest of you has to be effecting my viewpoint on the matter some but…." Kanan flails around for words, feeling his frustration mount in his tone as he struggles to be understood. "Hera, Ezra hasn't actually changed. Not at his core. Not significantly."

"Wow." Hera finally speaks up – with only that single word.

Kanan though isn't actually done yet – because though this conversation is imperfect – though these words are not enough, not anything near sufficient really, just finally letting them spill into the air at all – getting them out of his head and into actual shared reality with someone else who at least wants to try and understand, is an unspeakable almost giddy sort of relief.

"I mean kark, Hera…he…he in some ways may be more himself in this new body than he was in his old one…but then again that sounds unfair and judgemental to say. Look I'm not trying to infantilize him, really I'm not. He's not a baby – he's survivor, he always has been because he's always had to be. It's just…" The words drop off as Kanan sighs again in frustration, because the analogies required to make what he's saying coherent have simply disappeared from his mind once again completely.

"Look, just don't count on him aging up, Hera." Kanan finally settles on telling her very bluntly, "I know that's the last thing on Yavin that you want to hear. I know it's strange and inconvenient and Force is everything suddenly ten thousand times more complicated as a result but the alternative would still have been Ezra dead and I can't…I'm just not capable of even letting myself think about that without possibly going crazy right now and..."

"Kanan, Love," Hera's arms tighten suddenly around him from behind. "Look I need you to stop talking for a minute or so okay? Just slow down for a couple of moments and breathe. So that I can process what you said for a moment, and so you don't end up full on hyperventilating, all right? I'm not angry or telling you to shut up or anything like that…I'm really not. It's just…what you just said is a lot to take in so give me a moment to process."

Kanan giggle-snorts involuntarily at that but obeys.

A few minutes later he finally speaks up again. "Believe me, I know this is overwhelming. I'm sorry didn't mean to overwhelm you. I'm a little…mentally on the fritz at the moment, I think."

"The words that you're looking for are in-shock." Hera eventually shoots back at him then, her own voice finally cracking, at least infinitesimally. "And if you're actually right, Kanan then you have every kriffing right to be." Hera draws in a ragged sounding breath. "Kanan, Love how long exactly have you known all of this and been hauling it around on your shoulders by yourself basically?"

"I don't…I don't know anything for sure, Hera."

"Banthakriff," She shoots back softly. "Fine then, how long have you at least strongly 'suspected.' Because with that level of previous detail you just hit me with you've clearly been obsessively gnawing at the subject for awhile now, at least inside your own head. And then almost inevitably panicking as a result. Which is understandable I suppose but still…clearly far less than healthy."

Her arms tighten around him hard again. "Like I said Love, I know that by mutual agreement you usually headline with the kids most days and that Phoenix Squadron keeps me busy, but this is Ezra. Not to mention this is you. I guess that I'm struggling to get here why this is the first time you're actually bringing it up to me."

"I've been processing it all too, Hera." Kanan manages. "When not having nightmares or dealing with Sabine and Ezra. And Ezra's not trying to be high maintenance – he's really not but he's still karking seven – and he's falling to pieces – then trying to stick himself back together with crazy glue, and on top of that Sabine won't stop taking verbal swipes at him…

And he'skrking *letting her*, Hera - kark, he's actively *encouraging* the habit – calling himself 'pint sized and perfect for kicking' – and yes, we both known his sense of humor has always been dark like that but he's such a mess already – hunched in over himself just waiting for the rain of fire to start like it did the last time around and…"

Kanan shudders almost convulsively. "I know that it's just supposedly a coping method for dealing with all the stress but it's just not okay with me right… I can't be rational about it like I know that I should really be and…"

"No, Kanan. You shouldn't be." Hera's voice cuts his own off sharply, suddenly biting. He starts a little at the interruption, and then Hera's tugging at his arm gently, "Love please role over okay, please? So you're facing me?"

Kanan nods, doing so automatically.

A second later they're face to face, and Kanan's blinking a little startled at the sudden familiar press of a palm directly over his heart and then two seconds after that her lips are on his and they're kissing. Albeit not particularly passionately – no this kiss is all about comfort, the most intimate sort of reassurance and nurturing, as Hera's lips slide across his for a moment or two, her hands rising up and down his spine very very gently about half a dozen times, before finally rising up to tug free the tie from his ponytail and then massage the freed hair of his scalp very gently.

And no, Kanan has never actually outright told Hera that he's a sucker for head-rubs, that they have from his earliest days of memory been a gesture he finds incredibly soothing for some inexplicable reason, to the degree that his clan leader back in the Creche had occasionally used them to help knock him out when he was trying to get back to sleep after nightmares.

But Hera clearly and obviously knows anyway, because her fingertips are now caressing his scalp methodically, even after she finally breaks off the kiss itself, shifting her head just enough to rest her forehead against his own for several seconds before she finally seems to find the words again to speak.

"Kanan, Love, right now you don't have to be constantly logical or rational about anything okay? You just went through what is known as 'major kriffing trauma' – and Jedi or not, you're still human, Kanan. Not an automaton. You're allowed to be freaked out right now, by literally everything that you're saying. Especially, now that I actually understand the context, about the dynamic you've been seeing especially between Ezra and Sabine. Because emotional abuse – even when it's unintentional, which yes I'm assuming it is right now because Sabine's mad but not generally cruel on purpose, is still not and will never be an acceptable coping mechanism. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been riding your ass about it earlier today in the galley – even as frustrated as I initially was by what I walked into, when I clearly haven't been around enough as things escalated to actually grasp what was going on."

"Sabine's not doing it on purpose." Kanan is quick to confirm, "She's just scared and mad and off balance…thrown off by the reality of the entire situation. She doesn't know what to do about it – and since she doesn't know how to deal, she's basically coping via generalized anger misdirection. Which would even be fine Hera, in the short term, if she hadn't picked kriffing Ezra as her target. Because right now he…."

Kanan chokes out a bitter laugh. "I've got enough unresolved angst and guilt to deal with where he's concerned as it is already at the moment. This entire force damned situation's been enlighting as kark in some ways personally, in terms of the lives we've been leading. As well as Ezra and I's whole dynamic l with the entire rebellion."

Kanan actually chokes on a laugh. "Do you know what one of the newest wagers in the betting pool on base is right now, Hera?"

There's a moment of silence. When Hera finally speaks her voice is clearly confused by the abrupt change of topic, "Concerning Ezra you mean?"

"Concerning all of us really. Or at least all of Phoenix Squadron anyway." Kanan lets out a ragged snort, "They're actually taking bets on when Ezra will manage to talk his way back into a cockpit again, Hera…how long it'll take before our sheer reduction in numbers in the squad will mean we'll have to start using him as a resource again – at least in support type positions. If only so that means he won't leave me stuck home as a 'babysitter' instead of available to actually help you on missions."

Hera gapes at him a moment. "They're what?" She splutters. "Kanan…Ezra's not…just no, Kanan! He's between seven and nine biologically, no matter what he says about his previous growth track! I asked Dr Agel specifically when I helped her carry her things back to the med center. He'd need a karking booster seat right now to even sit in the cockpit. He's barely 3 foot 5 at the moment. That's way too small, he's way too kriffing fragile for me to even think about letting him…"

"Yoda was really no bigger." Kanan points out to her softly.

"Yoda was a Force Damned kriffing adult, Kanan!"

"So is Ezra - from a certain perspective at least. He was nearly eighteen before this happened. And even if he is physically young, after all, he's a Jedi. Sometimes you have to make 'uncomfortable exceptions' for the sake of the mission, Hera."

There's a long pause of maybe a couple of seconds. Then Hera Syndulla explodes – this time in furious Ryl. "For Kriff's sake, Kanan, I don't care if he's the strongest force user in the galaxy. I don't care if he could personally kill the Emporer himself. That doesn't change a thing! Since when is it okay to weaponize children?!"

"And when does childhood start or end, Hera? Does it when you're eight leading Clone Trooper soldiers around through a captured Seperatist city like some of your own people did during the clone wars? When you're a thirteen year old and you're a Padawan being sent with your master onto a battlefield to watch the eventual death in campaign of the closest people you currently have to normal actual friends ? When you're fifteen and go from stealing to feed yourself to stealing information to provide the rebellion with needed intelligence? Or how about when you're seventeen and you're dying – or willing to at least – and not just because Ezra loved Sabine and cared about that child – though yes I'll admit he absolutely did in both cases. But mostly Hera, when it comes right down to it I'm pretty karking sure at that point the idea of being left behind again – to grieve still more, to lose still more - was a lot less attractive to Ezra at that moment than nobly dead." Kanan sighs, very very deeply, feeling the woman in his arms go absolutely still at that particular confession.

"Where's the line between child and adult, Hera? Between acceptable and immoral? Between abusive and just uncomfortable or 'severely uneasy' – as I once overheard my Master describe it Grey – her own GAR Senior officer when the two of them discussed the subject late one night after a particularly brutal battle. Because I have to tell you, Hera," Kanan sighs rubbing his forehead, "I'm apparently blind in a lot more ways to this stuff then I realized initially. And frankly if there's a clear line where all of this is concerned, then I'm having serious trouble right now actually finding it."

Silence follows that statement. Complete and utter silence. Hera's all but ceased to breathe, at least from Kanan's perspective. She's gone completely still and quiet where she lays in the bed beside him.

"Hera." Kanan says after a long moment. "Look, none of this is meant as a personal attack. But I know where your heart is, okay? I know where it's always been. And I'm not stupid. Part of my loving you, at least from my perspective has always meant accepting that reality and finding ways to compromise- to seek mutual ground upon which we could all still comfortably stand. But now – in terms of Ezra's new situation?"

Kanan grimaces, "What was just uneasy when Ezra was fourteen and sixteen and almost eighteen, Hera? Is completely intolerable at seven. I will take Ezra and I will leave Yavin, I swear to Force that I will, Hera before I'll see him turned into politely rationalized tool." Kanan snorts bitterly, "Hell I'll probably do so before I'll even sit down at the same table for any real length of time with anyone who'd try and seriously justify that sort of thing and then expect to have regular access to either him or me skill wise As much as it kills me to even think this out loud, HEra I've made commitments - not just to you but to Ezra as well. The Jedi Order fell, in part because it utterly failed to protect its most vulnerable - its children. And I can't afford to not learn from history – not with Ezra already this vulnerable. I will cut ties with the Rebellion completely before I'll sit back and watch anyone weaponize him. The way it happened before."

Which Kanan is well aware, if it comes down to that, is going to have all but inevitable personal repercussions. For the Specter Crew, for Phoenix Squadron, and for Hera and him specifically. Because Hera's baby is the Phoenix Squadron – there's never been any doubt of that. But Kanan Jarrus doesn't have a metaphorical 'child'. He's got a real one, who's blue eyed, petite, and force sensitive. And he's first priority. As of the end of this conversation.

It's a massive change of status for them, Kanan knows, at least theoretically. His lips quirk up a little wryly, as the thought enters his head. After all, right from the beginning it was Hera who had all but demanded the addition of the last of their number. Kanan just has his serious doubts that she'd ever imagined when she did so that it would ever lead them here to this.

"Kanan I…" eventually, Hera seems to find her words again. Though they're broken – still more than a little bit shell shocked. As if Hera's been thrown directly into the shark infested deep end of the pool. Where Kanan's been treading water by himself with a seven year old for the last several weeks now, frankly speaking.

"KARK, Love." She finally manages after another minute or so. "How am I? What in kriff under the circumstances do you expect me to say to any of this?"

The smile Kanan gives her in reply is wry upturn of his lips. "Right now, Hera? Nothing at all. I expect that you're going to need some time like I've needed some time to process everything that I've just told you. I didn't bring it up because I'm looking for any sort of a fix – or even just a temporary patch job. The truth of the matter is Ezra and I…we're…well we're mostly fine at the moment. For the most part. We've been gradually getting better at coping the last couple of weeks. And honestly, I think it'll probably do us all some good for Ezra and I to just get out of this fish bowl awhile – to be alone for the most part – well excluding Chopper and Rex anyway. Which reminds me: I let Chopper know that he's been invited by Rex to join us unless he has other specific commitments right now or unless you have urgent need of him for Phoenix Squadron. In the meanwhile, Hera, I just figure it'll do us all to have some mental cook-time to let all of this simmer for awhile. Because face it, everything above – well except for my comments about Ezra staying young for the time being anyway, is just a hypothetical threat at the moment."

Hera snorts at that particular assessment softly. "Like Kriff it is, Kanan. Not from your perspective at least. You're essentially about as comfortable right now by the sound of it, staying with Ezra here on base, as a mother would be with her baby actively crawling around in a snake pit, and you're finding it hard to relax because of it at least subconsciously."

He snorts at that particular analogy. "Maybe so...but to be fair Ezra's not actually baby at the moment he's seven, and capable of at least basic self-defense so long as he isn't actively trying to comfort or pacify the people trying to hurt him instead. And I'm well aware that I'm unreasonably paranoid about the current threat level, at least from the outsider's perspective. I point out that we are still here Hera, no matter how I currently feel about any of it. I may feel a bit ill at ease but it's only shaping not controlling my current reactions..."

Hera eyes him more than a little bit skeptically, "Yeah, well Love if Ezra hadn't fallen this morning Kanan, and if I hadn't moved my meetings around this morning in order to get off of work earlier today would that actually still be true? Because I have to tell you Kanan, that the way Ezra was carrying on about it earlier in Medlab it sounds a lot to me like the two of you did have plans to take off this afternoon before I even got home – without even discussing it with me first or telling me anything that you've finally gotten around to bringing up. Or are you claiming you weren't just basically flying the coop without even a "hi and goodbye" in the karking process?"

Kanan sighs heavily, rolling on to his back. "We were just going Up North within a reasonably easy reach in order to do some fishing and try to decompress, Hera. I wasn't taking him off the planet or anything more extreme like that. Zeb promised me that he'd brief you on where we were going when you got home as well as fill you in on what had been happening between Ezra and Sabine."

Hera's resultant scowl is fierce, "That doesn't change the fact that you were going to essentially flee the premesis for more than a week with our sudden SEVEN YEAR OLD, Kanan without a word to me first about the kriffing subject! You essentially gave me no say whatsoever concerning anything!"

Kanan crosses his arms across his chest, shrugging a little defensively. "Speaking very honestly, Hera, I wasn't all that sure you'd be all that concerned what we did at the moment Hera – I mean it's not like you'd even have really have been seeing either of us one way or another while we gone, as much as you've recently been so 'conveniently absent.'" And yeah, Kanan acknowledges to himself, there's definitely some unacknowledged bitterness in that phrase. Some lingering resentment to Hera's previous actions he probably needs to deal with the next time he meditates.

Silence falls at that admission for a moment or two...weighted and heavy, and then Hera softly swears in Ryl and sits up, pivoting directly to face him. "Little Gods, are we actually at the point that I have to say this, Kanan? Yes I'll admit I've been gone a lot recently. I've been karking freaked out, all just like you are by what happened back in the cave and I've been trying to sort through it mostly alone...which was clearly a massive mistake! That still doesn't mean that I don't care what's happening right now or that I still don't want or deserve a damn say in what's going on with Ezra "

"So then you want to supervise and criticize, Hera, but not have to be around to actually help clean up any of the mess?" Kanan snaps back, "Because sorry but right now I can't say that I'm all that enamored with that arrangement. Especially when in the last week you've only spent maybe two hours with Ezra total and probably even less than that if we're honest about it! You don't just get to leave me to deal with the bear in the house all alone and then afterwards critique the way that I actually end up dealing with it!"

Kanan can hear the defensive tension in Hera's tone at that particular analogy...which is definitely pertinent to the current situation, if only because it's hard even on the best of days to make someone see what they've been semi deliberately avoiding.

The Twi'lek pilot finally responds, "That doesn't mean that when I'm not around I don't miss you or Ezra, Kanan - or that I don't want to keep him iclose right now, especially given everything that's happened! That scout site's two hours away even before he was concussed and frankly stated I get pretty damn twitchy at the thought of him that far out of my current grasp."

"So then you *are* worried about how he's coping with things as well?"

"Yes! Of course I kriffing am!"

"Yeah well Hera, you might want to get around eventually, to making thatclear to Ezra as well as me, given how much you've been avoiding him Because yes, I'll admit that I didn't fully grasp myself how big of a problem it's actually became until the poor kid had a full on miniature panic attack when you tried to separate us in the galley after he fell, but the cold hard truth of the matter right now is that Ezra...subconsciously at least, anyway is basically already more than half way packed for when you essentially dump him of Phoenix squadron and possibly even off of the Ghost if they can't 'fix him' the next time that we go and see the Ash'taan'aleki."

"He's expecting that I'm going to what!?" The words come out of Hera's mouth as more than just a slightly indignant squawk. "That's absolutely ridiculous! I wouldn't do that ever Kanan!"

Kanan snorts, a little harshly, "Yeah well that may be true, Hera...but then it's all still mostly instinct on Ezra's part and he's under massive emotional strain right now – Hera this is Ezra we're talking about, remember? 'Mr Lack of Discernment' yes, but also 'Mr Oceans of Uncontrollable Empathy.' He's always been hyper-charged when it comes to picking up on other people's emotions, yes, but that doesn't mean he completely understands what he's sensing or that he can't mistake what drives people's feelings or actions just like the rest of us do. And he can karking well tell when people are avoiding him." Kanan spreads wide his hands, helpless, "And it's not as if he currently feels right now at the size that he is that he's exactly 'useful' to anyone at the moment."

And boom! The next words nearly explode out of Hera's mouth so great is her fury in reaction. "What the Karabast is that supposed to have to do with ANYTHING, right now Kanan Jarrus?!" She strikes the mattress with the fist of one of her hands. " He's karking Ezra! You know that. He doesn't have to be useful to anyone for me to be worried about him under the current circumstances!"

"Yes. I know that, Hera." Kanan's voice is just short of painfully patient, "But the better question at present, Hera is probably 'does Ezra know that?' And the answer, at least subconsciously appears to be 'no.' Because he's been badly misreading most of your current reactions."

"He can't possibly seriously think that I'd just up and …it's been over four karking years, Kanan! You're saying he still doubts me that much after all this time?! Because if so, then what the kark do you suggest that I do if I haven't managed to earn even that amount of trust?!"

Kanan sighs, tries to make his tone consoling, "Subconscious and conscious reactions aren't the same thing Hera - and just for the record, we have a kriffing psi-link, and right now he's still half watching *me* when he's particularly anxious...he was literally clinging to my kriffing clothes in the galley, though yes Hera, his concussion and shielding issues were most of the reason he was so obvious about it...why he essentially publicly panicked instead of just doing so all by himself in private, but it's been happening there too."

Kanan sighs deeply, because just the act of admitting that much out loud leaves him incredibly saddened and weary. Both for himself and for Ezra especially, who really has the short end of the stick in all of this.

"He doesn't expect either of us to actually *outright* abandon him at the moment consciously, Hera. Especially me, thank the Force. My sticking close has managed to head that worry off at the pass. But in case you forget about this, he's not just traumatized, Hera. He's been karking deaged to age seven. The year that he lost his first family, and right now you better believe that subconsciously that fact is absolutely lurking in the back of his mind every time he looks in the mirror. It can't not be. Which is why I've been literally hovering over the kid until he has more of a chance to settle down and settle in. Because whether he'll admit it or not right now Ezra needs the extra reassurance he's got at least one of us constantly close to him."

Hera's blinks at that. "And you didn't think to share that information with me as well, Love?"

"I didn't think it wasn't obvious...pointing it out seemed just a little bit insulting frankly speaking."

Hera blinks at him, "So what? You thought that I was actively hurting him the way that I have been on purpose instead?! I'm not as naturally good at seeing this kind of stuff as you are, Love - you ought to know that by now Kanan. If I was emotionally battering our damn kid...unintentionally or not, then why in the Kark didn't you pull me aside like normal and say something?!"

"Because I'm kriffing tired, Hera!? As I've already said repeatedly. I'm just trying to keep Ezra and my own head above the kriffing water and the moment. In the middle of a Force Damned hurricane! And this may shock you but there are times that I can't be the emotional enlightener of the whole karking universe and these last few weeks have been one of them!"

And yeah...that statement had started out fairly calm and rational on his part. Because he's really trying his best despite it all to be understanding, to be empathetic and compassionate...to remember the current situation has been hard on all of them. But like he'd thought about earlier, sometimes he and Hera have very, very different grasps of the obvious. And truthfully sometimes Kanan just gets seriously pissed as hell about the reality of that.

Because after all...Hera has all the same puzzle pieces that he does...well about Ezra's personally history at least. She knows how and when the kid's parents were originally taken, just like Kanan does. She has to be able to make the connection if she really *wants to that this entire situation could be massively triggering Ezra's historical fears of abandonment. She has to. The woman commands kriffing a fighter squadron. She certainly isn't stupid. She never has been. And it isn't fair under the current circumstances that she keeps leaving Kanan to do all the damn heavy emotional lifting.

Kanan clears his throat, then bites out the next set of words almost compulsively, if as vocally neutrally as he can possibly manage it. "Hera, why is it my job right now to que your practice of emotional intelligence? Especially if I'm the one who, as you just put it yourself, is dealing with serious trauma and am therefore allowed to be irrational and seriously freaked out by everything that been going on? Because one minute you're telling me I'm allowed to be human but then you act just the opposite and when I am having trouble with things, you start making accusations and mad at me about the consequences. And frankly I'm both confused and frustrated as kriff by all the karking mixed messages. They're only making things ten times worse. And frankly I'm Force damned exhausted. To exhaasted to deal with it at the moment."

Silence falls.

And yeah that's basically what Kanan had thought. He sighs very deeply in response to hera's complete lack of answer, then sits upright after a moment or two and begins to climb out of the bed.

"Kanan," Hera's voice is soft when she finally speaks reaching for his arm...a mixture of regret, anger and a little bewilderment when she finally finds her words again. He very gently peels her hand off.

"I'm sorry Hera, but look we need to pause this discussion for now, because it's clearly going nowhere productive while I'm this frustrated. I…I'm going to go finish packing and then check on Ezra, okay? Who may need a trip to the bathroom or a snack or something. We...we'll both take a few days to calm down and to process some of this through and then we can pick this conversation back up if you really want to after Ezra and I get back from our fishing trip."

Hera's silent again for a long moment after that, clearly wordlessly debating with herself. She definitely isn't happy with what Kanan's just said, but she also consents even so after a moment or two - probably because she knows after all of these years together how unproductive it actually end ups being most of the time when she tries to force Kanan to talk when he's in certain moods.

"Fine." She finally states, climbing out of the bed herself, and padding on small bare feet to come and stand on directly in front of him. "But so you know, Love, before you go I also get to make two conditions to this trip. Since I had no chance to do so earlier in Medlab."

Kanan sighs but nods, "Agreed…within the scope of reason anyway. Those conditions actually being?"

"Oh they're both completely reasonable believe me. One…Chopper is definitely going to be going along with you when you depart and I'm going to be calling in *at least* once a day to check in and talk awhile with Ezra, because if he's doubting me as badly as you're implying he is right now then I clearly have some serious ground to recapture where he's concerned, even if it's just via some casual 'how was your day/who's winning you fishing bet so far chats' with him. Any problem there?"

Kanan shakes his head. "No that's fine."

"All right then. You can expect those calls to come either right after lunch or right after supper depending on my meeting schedule for the day. I may also try sometimes to talk to him right before bedtime or in the early morning. You can let me know, when I call if he's still asleep or on his way to his rack. Two," she pokes him in the chest, hard enough this time to practically leave a bruise. "You, Rex and Ezra can *expect* that Sabine, Zeb and I will show up and spend at least one whole day of every weekend that the three of you are gone making up for lost time – with my guarantee that while we're there, Sabine will restrain from any kind of Ezra baiting or she'll suffer my extreme and immediate displeasure."

Hera takes a deep breath and then lets it out. "Because you better damn well believe Kanan JArrus that if you're actually shop-lifting *our* seven-year-old out from under my nose like this, without warning *afte*r telling me outright that right now he thinks that I want to ditch him that I am damn well at least getting some occasional visitation!"

Kanan sighs but nods, "Agreed again with one caveat, Hera - after which we can even talk about what we talked about today, assuming we're both willing and actually in the head-space for it."

"That caveat being?"

"Before you come out to visit us the first time for the weekend you need to at least find some decent clothes for Ezra first at an off planet market. As well as some step stools and other stuff that you and I talked about for the Ghost to ease Ezra's access and movement while he's on the ship. If you really want him to think you're really in it for the long haul no matter how big or small he is at the moment than that's a damn easy way to prove it."

"Done. And your second condition?"

"Second you find out who I need to talk to on base to pro-cure top tier falsified papers of adoption. Don't worry about the specifics of time or cost or the names that I want on them right now I'll handle that myself when it's appropriate– just try and get me a name."

Hera blinks at that, clearly caught off guard by the request, even though not exactly in a bad way – she's simply genuinely startled that he's looking for this information, though really she shouldn't be, Kanan figures, considering everything thing else that he's just had to say. Ezra after all, is only karking seven years old. Before when they'd found him, the kid had only had four years before his majority and his parents had only been missing. Now though, there's something closer to eleven years before Ezra twill turn eighteen again, and his parents very frankly stated are dead.

And no, Kanan's not demanding that Ezra change his name, or even Kanan's title for that matter: he's just looking to aggressively change the kid's perspective about his future prospects no matter what his current physical situation, by the end of this trip, along with any other number of other things. Because frankly speaking Hera isn't the only one where Ezra is concerned who needs to start blatantly putting their money where their mouth is.

So he just shrugs, and rotates his head on the base of his neck, "Sometimes, Hera, I'm learning that it actually helps to stop being quite so subtle about certain things. There are any number of topics that Ezra and I are going to cover by the end of this trip – that being one of the basic ones one my list. Because as I already said earlier, right now as far as all of this is concerned with me and Ezra, the kid needs some things made blatantly clear. Which is why while we're out there I fully intend in this case to fish and not cut bait."

A/N: For the worried. No this is not and will NEVER be a break up fic. I adore Hera/Kanan. But sometimes you have to climb some steep slopes for the awesome view at the top of the mountain. Everybody in the fic is just learning a little rock climbing at present. Also, lose not your heart at bitter/grumpyass Kanan. Help is coming the next couple parts via totally deserves a kriffing medal Rex. Who serious kicks ass at basic Jedi maintence!


End file.
